First lie is the easiest
by McLance
Summary: Harlie cuts school, and gets into a car accident with a new girl at school, and tries to hide the fact that she's hurt from Brian and Crane. As she deals with the aftermath, she learns a few things about herself, like what kind of person she wants to be.
1. Chapter 1

There's days that start out really good, and there's days that start out really bad. This particular Tuesday was in the latter category. For me, anyway. To make matters worse, Hannah's calming influence was missing. She and Adam were gone to Sacramento for a few days. Adam had been asked to represent our local Cattleman's Association, and he and Hannah had taken Guthrie along.

To start the morning off, several of us overslept, which then caused those that did to be mad at those that didn't, under the premise that they should have gotten us up on time.

I was in the group that didn't get up in response to the insistant buzzing of an alarm clock. I did hear pounding on doors all along the hallway, with Brian's raised voice accompanying it, yelling at the boys to get their behinds out of bed.

I covered my head with my pillow, and went back to sleep. The next time I woke up it was because Brian was throwing my top quilt off of me, and yanking on my feet.

"Harlie!" he said, "let's go!"

"Stop pulling on me!" I snapped, from my cocoon of extra blankets he hadn't succeeded in removing.

My first mistake of the day was not getting up on time. My second, and most probably the unwisest, was in talking to Brian in that tone of voice.

I found myself jerked to an upright sitting position, with Brian glaring at me.

"You're about to buy yourself a truckload of trouble," he growled.

I swept my mass of curly hair back from my face, and quickly tried to make amends.

"I'm sorry, Bri. I guess I'm just really tired."

"You're not the only one. You have five minutes to get downstairs."

"Five minutes?" I tried a smile on him. "That'd make me like a quick change artist, or something."

Brian did not look amused. "Five minutes," he said, "or I'll be back up here, and you DO NOT want that. I've got other things to do today."

Five minutes to get dressed meant I pulled on what I first put my hands on, which happened to be the jeans I'd worn the day before, and a wrinkled shirt. I gathered my hair up in a knot on the top of my head, and went downstairs.

Evan and Ford were arguing in the living room about whose fault it was that Ford had overslept.

"All I'm saying, is you could have woke me up," Ford was pointing out. "I've done it for you plenty of times."

"It's not my job to get you out of bed," Evan argued. Ford kept ranting, while he looked for a science report he said he'd left on the end table. He was asking Crane about it as Crane walked thru from the kitchen.

"Why didn't you put it with the rest of your homework?" Crane pointed out.

"I was going to finish it this morning. Which I don't have time for now, thanks to Evan."

This of course started their argument over about who was at fault for oversleeping.

I went to get a glass of orange juice, and they were still going at it, when I came back.

I was startled when Crane's voice rose above both Evan's and Ford's.

"Both of you, knock it off!"

Crane hardly ever yells, and the fact that he was meant he was having a bad morning, too.

Brian came back in from outside in time to hear Crane's directive.

"Maybe we need to have mandatory early bedtime around here for awhile," Brian said, and he looked at me when he said it. "See if that doesn't help people get up and moving on time."

"I'm just drinking my juice," I protested. "This isn't even my fight. Why are you getting onto me?"

Crane squeezed my shoulder with his hand.

"That's enough, don't be rude," he told me, and I looked away from Brian's glare.

"How's the calf?" Crane asked Brian.

Brian shook his head in discouragement. "I think we better call Doc G."

Crane got the look on his face he always gets when we're short on money and an expense comes up.

Ford found his science paper, and said tersely,

"Let's go," to me.

I realized I'd left my homework upstairs, and started towards the stairs to get it.

Brian caught my wrist. "There's pancakes on the stove."

"We're gonna be late as it is," Ford complained.

"Go eat," Brian told me.

"Leaving in two minutes!" Ford informed me as he went out slamming the door.

"I have to get my homework," I said, and dashed for the stairs. It took me several minutes to locate everything, and I could hear Ford leaning on the horn impatiently. When I came back down, Brian was standing at the front door, hollaring at Ford to stop honking the horn.

"Here," he said, handing me a pancake spread with peanut butter.

"Thanks."

"Daniel did your chores this morning," he said, with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll tell him thank you tonight."

"Right before you go to bed at 8 o'clock."

I gave him an incredulous look, not believing he was serious. But he looked serious, dead serious.

"I'm not the only one who overslept, Bri," I reminded him.

"No, but you're the only one who needed dynomite to get blown out of bed."

I swept past him, muttering under my breath.

"You have something to say?" he asked, and I could hear the warning in his voice.

"No!" I said, and climbed into the passenger side of Ford's truck.

7

We were tardy to school, and we had to go to the office to get late slips. When we came out of the office to go our separate ways to class, Ford didn't mince words.

"Thanks a lot, Har," he said, glaring at me.

"So you're blaming ME?"

"Yes, I'm blaming you. I should have left and made you ride the bus."

"Well, why didn't you, then?!"

"Next time I will," he threatened, and stalked off down the hall.

"You know what, Ford?! It's not a crime! It's being LATE! Not bank robbery!" I yelled after him.

Ford ignored me, but Mr. Price, the principal, opened the office door, and said curtly, "Is there a reason, Harlie, that you're yelling in the hallway?"

I don't get in trouble at school, and Mr. Price has never had any reason to talk to me that way.

I was embarrassed. "No, sir, I'm sorry."

"Go to class, please."

I was tired, still hungry, and felt like my wrinkled shirt was obvious to everyone when I had to go into class late. It did not bode well for my morning, and things got worse when I discovered I'd grabbed my English notes, but not the final essay. The one due third hour.

Mrs. Turpen called me over when class was over. "Is your essay finished, Harlie?"

"Yes, ma'm, it's at home. It was a crazy morning at home-"

"Bring it in tomorrow. I'll have to take a letter grade off for being late."

I wanted to protest so badly. Crane had spent two hours helping me with that essay, and he was not going to be happy when he found out that an A was a B, or a B was a C.

"Great," I muttered, as I left the classroom.

My mood didn't improve much during lunch. It was some kind of nasty spinach thing, but I was so hungry I ate it. I was sitting with Lori Nelson and some others girls at a table outside in the sunshine when Allison Butler came over to sit down, too. Allison moved here this school year, when her father bought one of the bigger ranches in the valley. She got popular quickly, and has a reputation for being on the wild side. She said she had a headache from listening to Mrs. Turpen.

She mimicked the teacher until everyone was laughing.

When she said she was going to cut classes the rest of the afternoon, she asked if anyone at the table wanted to come, too.

"No way," Lori said, and she and a couple of the others went to put their lunch trays away.

"How about it, Harlie?" she asked me when I stood up to follow them.

"It'll be fun to get out of here, go for a drive, maybe go swimming or something," she said.

"It sounds fun," I agreed. It also sounded like an idea with trouble attached to it.

"It's a substitute next hour. We won't miss anything."

I knew I shouldn't, knew it with everything in me, but I guess she could see I was wavering.

"Do you even know how to have fun? Do anything besides study?" She smiled and it took some of the bite out of her words.

I thought of the horrendous morning I'd had, and suddenly felt reckless.

"Okay. I'll have to be back here by the time school's out, to ride home with my brother," I told Allison.

"No problem," Allison said.

Crane says when people say 'no problem', it usually means that there is, or will be, a problem.

"Great!" I said.

Slipping away from school was amazingly easy. We just walked out and got into Allison's car, a white convertible. I'd never ridden in a convertible before. Allison drove fast, really fast, onto the highway. We mostly just drove around, until I asked her what time it was. When she checked her watch and told me it was two-thirty, I said I had to get back to the school and meet Ford.

"What's the deal with him?" Allison asked.

" Ford? What do you mean?"

"Is he always so serious?"

"He's serious, but he's lots of fun, too."

"He strikes me as sort of a stick in the mud. You know."

Instantly my hackles were up. No matter if I was mad at one of my brothers, no one was going to insult any of them.

"Ford's funny, he can make anybody laugh! You don't know him at all!"

Allison looked amused at my outburst.

"I'll tell you who I'd like to get to know better, and that's Daniel," she said.

Allison was too young for Daniel. I knew he'd never consider dating Allison, but I didn't bother to try to convince her of that.

"I've got to get back to catch Ford."

"I'll take you home," she offered.

"No, Ford would wonder where I was. And I've got chores."

"So?"

When I looked at her, perplexed, she said,

"Why do you have to do chores?"

"Because there's a lot to do, everybody helps. Don't you do chores? You've got a bigger ranch than us."

"My father has a ranch. I don't. It's nothing to do with me."

For a minute, I felt sorry for her. It was a totally foreign idea to me. I've grown up knowing that our ranch belongs to all of us, and that every one of us has a responsibility to help out.

"Well, it's not like that for me. And i need to get back. Now."

Allison shrugged and turned back towards town. She reached into her purse and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She shook the pack and took one out.

"Want one?" she asked.

"No."

She tried to light the cigarette, but the wind kept blowing her match out, so she leaned over a little out of the wind. I looked up, and I saw it coming.

Afterwards, it was like it had happened in slow motion. I think I screamed at Allison to turn the steering wheel. I put my hands up in front of my face.

We sat there for a couple minutes, both of us were probably in shock. Then I automatically started taking inventory. My cheek hurt, and my arms were scratched. I could move my arms and legs, but my back hurt where it had hit the door.

Allison, apparently fine, got out and went to the front of the car where it was crushed against the big Oak tree. "Damn it," she swore, and when she turned I saw her nose was bleeding.

I got out gingerly. My legs felt all rubbery, like they didn't want to hold me up. I was shaking, too.

Allison was ranting about her car. "Now what am I going to drive?" she demanded, looking at me as if I'd had something to do with it.

"Well, not this, obviously," I said sarcastically. I suddenly, vehemently, disliked Allison Butler.

"We'll have to start walking," I said.

Allison looked as if that was a totally foreign idea to her. "We can walk back to the highway, and hitchhike into town."

I had no intention of doing that, but I didn't say anything, I just started walking. We hadn't gone very far when I was ready to either smack Allison or walk on without

her. She kept stopping, complaining about how hot it was. Well, I was hot, too, and my back was hurting me. I touched my cheek tentatively. It hurt, too. I wondered how

I could conceal it from the observant eyes waiting for me at home.

She started waving a car down when we climbed up the hill to the highway.

"I'm not getting into a car with someone I don't know," I informed her.

"Well, I'm not walking anymore."

It didn't come to an argument, because the car wizzed past us.

When we finally made it to the outskirts of town, we went into the gas station. Allison started telling Jake she needed her car towed.

Jake and the man who works for him listened to her rant without saying much. They both looked at me. I went to get a bottle of pop, pulling change out

of my jeans. I was so thirsty I had it gone within just a couple of minutes.

Jake passed me, on his way out to fire up his tow truck.

"You're Crane's little sister, aren't you?" he asked me.

I'm used to being known as someone's little sister, so I nodded. There was no use in denying it. I just hoped he didn't have reason to talk

to Crane very often.

"You ok? Looks like you went some rounds with Tyson in the boxing ring."

"I'm okay."

"You need a ride home?"

I hesitated. I did need a ride home, but I needed it right then, not after he picked up Allison's car.

"I'll take her," Old Vernon spoke up. I don't know why he's called Old Vernon, but he's been called that for as long as I can remember.

7

I was hurting and still shaky from the accident, and I was worried about being late for chores. I didn't make conversation on the ride home, until Old Vernon said, "How's Adam? And Hannah?"

"They're fine. They're in Sacramento for an Association meeting."

"Daniel still playin' that guitar?"

"Yeah. He still is."

At the end of the driveway, I asked him to let me out so I could walk up. I sure didn't want Old Vernon talking to any of my brothers, and I didn't care to explain why he'd given me a ride, either.

He looked at me in a peculiar way, but stopped the old truck. "Mind some advice?" he asked me.

I did mind, but I'd been taught to respect my elders, so I tried not to show my impatience.

"Sir?"

"I've known your family since Adam and Brian was just little tykes, and your mama was carrying Crane around in one of them baby slings. Those boys, and that's what they were then, they took on a man's job when your mama and daddy died. It wasn't easy for them."

I knew all that, so I nodded, and waited.

"That girl you're runnin' with, she seems to be a wild one. She drives that car like a bat out of hell. Today it were a tree, one of these days it's likely to be a telephone pole. I'd hate to see you hurt bad, or those boys go thru any more sadness."

I turned red in embarrassment. Old Vernon had effectively put me in my place.

"I'm not going to worry my brothers. And I'm not going to run around with Allison anymore."

That at least, was all true. I had to plans to hang around Allison anymore, and I was definately not going to let any McFadden male know that I'd been in a dangerous situation today. Therefore, technically, no worry.

"Well, that's good," he said. "Maybe you oughta see a doctor about them cuts and all."

"I will," I said. "Thank you for the ride."

Being as I was an hour and a half late getting home I went straight to the barn to do my chores. Brian and Evan were in the pasture, and unless I could become invisable, I knew there was no way to keep Brian from spotting me.

"You're late!" he yelled across at me.

"Sorry!" I yelled back.

I rushed thru my chores to avoid meeting up with anybody in the barn, and when I heard Daniel's truck starting up I looked out the barn door. He was loading up, getting ready to leave, just like usual. He and Crane were standing on the porch, talking. I knew he only had a quick show tonight in Angel's Camp, but I was glad I wouldn't have him around to deal with.

I went out back to feed Petra an apple, killing time until Daniel left. Petra was in one of her independent skittish moods, and kept prancing away from me.

Daniel, starting down the driveway, saw me in the field, and stopped his truck, and leaned out, standing on the running board, and leaning over the roof of the truck.

"Hey, party girl!" he hollared to me. I waved at him.

"How come you're late?"

"Had to stay after!" I yelled.

"What for?!"

"Test!"

"Alright, see you later!"

I waved again, and as soon as he was gone I threw the apple down, and went to the house. My back was hurting from mucking the stalls, and I knew I needed to wash the cuts on my arms.

I went into the house, looking around, and shut the door as quietly as I could behind me. I could hear Crane whistling in the kitchen.

I went upstairs and looked in the bathroom medicine cabinet for Tylenol. I took the bottle and opened it, groaning. It was empty! Who the heck put an empty bottle back in a cabinet? One of the boys! Probably Evan, I thought darkly.

I went to my room and grabbed clean jeans and a long-sleeved shirt from my dresser, and went to Adam and Hannah's bedroom, locking the door behind me. I breathed a sigh of relief that I'd made it without anybody seeing my face and arms. I stripped off my jeans and t-shirt, and looked at myself in Hannah's full-length mirror. My cheek was red and raw looking. My arms both had scratches, and the right one had a couple that were fairly deep. I turned around to look at my lower back in the mirror. There was a bruise beginning there. I touched it cautiously, and boy, did it hurt!

I ran a tub full of hot water, pouring Epsom Salts in it. My brothers swear by it for muscle aches after a long day in the saddle, and I thought it couldn't hurt.

I soaked in the bathtub for a long time, and then I got dressed slowly. The shirt covered my arms, so I only had my face to worry about. I don't wear a lot of makeup generally, just some lip gloss and once in awhile mascara. I got out Hannah's makeup bag, sorting thru it.

I heard boots coming up the stairs. Then a knock on the door. And another. "Harlie!" It was Ford.

"Brian says come make the salad!"

"I'm in the bathtub!" I lied. "Can you do it?"

"I waited for you after school!" he said, thru the door. "Where the heck were you?"

I turned the water back on in the bathtub. "Can't hear you!" I yelled.

I heard him go back down the stairs, and I turned the water off.

I started putting on foundation, and powder. It looked like it was caked on, even to me. I washed my face, and started again, being careful with my

sore cheek.

More boots on the stairs. "Harlie!" Evan yelled. "Brian says come down!"

"I'm in the bathtub! Tell him I'll eat later!"

Genius idea, I thought. If I could avoid the supper table altogether, that would be the best bet.

I was done putting on the makeup, applied with a heavy hand, when a heavier boot approached the door.

"Harlie!" Brian said. "What's wrong?"

"I'm in the bathtub!" I yelled, turning the water back on for emphasis.

"It's time for supper!"

"I'll eat later!"

"Open the door!"

"I'm in the bathtub, I said!"

"I'm gonna count to twenty, and you better open this door, or I'll get the spare key!" he threatened.

He sounded as if he meant it.


	2. The first lie is the easiest

"One. Two. Three-"

"I'll be down in a minute!" I said, giving it one last try.

"Four. Five. Six," Brian continued on as though I hadn't spoken.

"Seven. Eight." Brian interrupted his counting to say warningly, "Harlie, if I have to go down and find that spare key,

things are gonna go south real quick, just so you know. Nine-"

As quickly as I could, I brushed my hair down and pulled it to the left side, fastening it with a hair tye.

"Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thir-"

In the midst of Brian's number 13 I unlocked the door, and pulled it open.

"-teen," Brian finished. He leaned against the doorway.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing's going on, except I'm trying to have a little privacy!" I said, deciding to try a defensive tactic. "Which is impossible around here,

with a hundred people pounding on the door!"

"Privacy, huh?"

"Yes, privacy!"

"You said you were in the bathtub."

"What?" I blinked at him.

"You just told me you were in the bathtub. You weren't."

"Well, I was getting dressed."

"Huh." He reached out and ran a thumb over my chin. "Good grief, Harlie, how much makeup do you have on?"

"Just because I like to ride and be outside, and don't mind getting dirty, doesn't mean I don't want to wear makeup once

in awhile, Brian." I said, trying for an indignant tone.

"Okay."

It seemed to me that his attention was focused on the left side of my face, and I said, "So, what's for supper?"

"So now you're hungry?"

"Always hungry for your cooking," I said, and went past him to go downstairs.

7

When I walked into the kitchen, Evan and Ford were already at the table, heaping their plates with food, and buttering rolls.

I started to slip into my chair when Crane turned from where he stood by the stove, spooning up a bowl of green beans.

"Hey, you," he said, and crooked a finger at me. "Come here, little miss."

When I came over to where he was, he said, "What's the rule when you're going to be late getting home?"

"To call. I'm sorry, Crane," I said.

"Where were you?"

"That's what I want to know, too," Ford spoke up. "I waited for you. That's twice today I had to."

"I had a test to finish."

"What test?" Crane asked.

"Um, history," I said, grasping at the first thing that came to mind.

"I thought that was yesterday."

"It was," I said, and went to sit down. "I didn't get it done."

I poured a glass of milk, and looked across the table to see Ford frowning at me. I could tell he knew I

was lying about the test. Knowing Ford like I do, I knew he wouldn't have left school without checking all over

for me. He knew I hadn't been in Mrs. Murrilo's room. I shook my head at him just a little bit, imploring him

not to say anything.

He gave me a disgusted look, and rolled his eyes, before he started buttering another roll.

"How come you're wearing your hair like that?" Evan asked.

I ignored him, and focused on eating the best I could. I shifted in my chair, trying to find a position where my back didn't hurt.

With only five of us at the table, things were quieter than usual, though the four of them kept up a steady conversation, which I made no effort to participate in.  
I pushed the food around my plate, wishing it was time to go to bed. I had no appetite at all.

At one point I glanced across the table to see Evan looking at me like he was amused about something.

"What?!" I snapped.

"New way of wearing your hair, huh?" he said.

"You know, Evan, the way you keep asking about it, you must be thinking of growing yours long so you can wear it like this, too," I said sarcastically.

I'd meant to rile him, but Evan just laughed, and went back to eating.

"How come you're wearing all that makeup?" Ford asked.

Before I could snap at Ford, Brian spoke up.

"Now, Ford," he said slowly, "Just because Harlie likes to ride and rope, and doesn't mind being outside, getting dirty, that's no reason she might not want to wear makeup once in awhile." He stopped from his repeating of my words almost verbatim, and looked at me. "Isn't that right, Har?"

Funny man.

"Right," I said.

I was lost in my own thoughts, and so I was surprised when I heard chairs being scooted back. They were all done eating. I looked at my plate, practically as full as it'd been at the beginning of the meal. I got up, too, and set my plate on the cabinet, hoping Brian or Crane would neither one notice.

"You've got dish duty," Evan reminded me.

"I know that, Evan."

"I'm just saying. You owe me for last week, too."

"I know!" I yelled. "Shut up already!"

"Hey," Crane said. He said it quietly, and that's all he said, but I looked at him, and I didn't say any more.

I started stacking the dishes and running hot water in the sink. The phone rang and Brian went to answer it. When it was just Crane and I left in the kitchen, he started drying dishes as I washed.

He flicked me on the rear with his towel.

"How come you're so wired up tonight?" he asked.

"I'm not. It's just Evan-"

"Yeah, you are. And it's not just about Evan. What's up?"

I shrugged. "Time of the month, I guess," I said, hoping that would shut him down.

If I'd even hinted at that subject with any of the other six males in the house, they would have dropped the conversation like a hot potato and left me in peace. But Crane is made of sturdier stuff.

He laughed. LAUGHED. "Wasn't that the excuse for your lousy mood last week, too?" he said, grinning.

"Comedian," I said.

Crane reached out to push my hair back, but I pulled away, so he wouldn't see my cheek.

I washed a couple more plates, and then I looked up at Crane. My back hurt so badly I wanted to cry, and I wished that I COULD talk to Crane about everything.

Instead, I wrapped my arms around his waist, so quick and hard that he wasn't expecting it, and he had to catch himself, to keep from bumping into the counter.

He rubbed my back. "What's wrong, Harlie?" he asked, so kindly I had to blink back tears.

"Nothing," I said, against his middle.

"Seems like something to me."

When I didn't answer, he tried to tip my face up.

"Look at me."

I pulled away from his hand.

"I just want a hug. That's all."

"Well, okay," he said, and hugged me. "But you know what? I just might be able to help, if you tell me what's wrong."

I might have told Crane then, in a moment of weakness, in the quiet of the kitchen, when he was being so kind. But right then, Brian came in, saying Adam was on the phone, and that he and Hannah wanted to talk to me and Crane.

"It's nothing," I said, and went to the living room really quickly.

When Ford handed me the phone and I said hello, Adam's strong voice came across.

"Hey, sugar, how are you?"

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"Doing alright, meeting a lot of nice people."

"That's good."

"Brian put too much salt in the spaghetti again?"

Adam code for wanting to know why I didn't eat much supper. So, Brian had noticed.

I turned towards Brian.

"No, it was great," I said, looking right at Brian. "I think it was actually the best spaghetti he's ever made. He should enter it in a cooking contest."

Brian rolled his eyes and I knew he got my sarcasm, even if Adam didn't.

"So what else is new with you?" Adam asked.

"Evan's being a big pain."

"Most likely he is, but he'd say the same about you," Adam said, and laughed. "Here's Hannah."

"Hi, sweetie!"

"Hi, Hannah!"

"Are you doing alright?"

"Yes. Are you having fun so far?"

"Lots of fun. Guthrie says hi."

"Tell him hi back. What's he doing?"

"Playing games with some kids he met at the arcade here."

"That's cool." Conscious of Brian still within listening distance, I said, "I used some of your makeup."

"Oh, good," Hannah said, sounding happy I was taking time to be "girly". She sounded so pleased I felt a twinge of guilt.

"Here's Crane," I told her, abruptly, and handed the phone off to him.

I went back to finish the dishes, glad Crane didn't come back in. When I came thru the living room, they were all sprawled over the couches and chairs.

Brian was lying down on the couch and he pointed to the spot beside his feet.

"Want to sit down?" he offered.

"I've got homework," I said. "Besides," I couldn't resist adding, "you said I had to go to bed early, so I'll get up better, remember?"

Brian gave me a look, half serious, half amused.

"Well, that's right, isn't it?" he said. "I guess you'd better head up then, huh?"

"I guess so," I said, and started up the stairs. I just wanted to crawl into my bed.

"Night, peanut," Crane told me.

"Night," I said.

When I got upstairs, I went in my room and changed into my softest pajamas. I went down the hall to the bathroom, and washed all that makeup off my face with Noxema. I came out of the bathroom, not worried about anybody else being upstairs. I was running a finger over the worst scratch on my arm, looking down at it, and I ran straight into something solid. Something hard. Brian.

He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.

"Oh, my gosh, Bri! You scared me!" I reached instinctively to pull my hair back in front.

"Sorry," he said.

"It's okay. Goodnight." I made to move around him, but Brian halted me with a hand around my wrist.

I would have resisted, but I knew there was no use in that, since he'd obviously been waiting there for me to come out.  
Besides, I was tired. All this subterfuge is harder than it seems.

Brian lifted my chin, looking at my cheek, and then took hold of my arms, first one, then the other, scrutinizing them.

"Those are some pretty nasty scratches," he said. "You went to a lot of trouble to hide them."

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything.

"I'll get the first aid kit," he said, and headed down the stairs. I sighed, and went to wait in my room.

"Get ready to be grilled like a cheese sandwich," I muttered to myself.

When Brian came back up, he didn't say anything. He just motioned for me to sit down on the bed, and then he cleaned my cheek and used iodine on my arms, and then wrapped a piece of gauze around the worst part.

"Anywhere else?" he asked.

I had no intention of telling him about my back, so I shook my head.

Brian put everything back into the first aid kit, and put his hands on his hips, looking at me grimly.

"Alright," he said. "Start talking." 

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	3. First Lie is the Easiest

I scooted back against the headboard of my bed.

"I went for a ride with Allison Butler."

"Butler? That Harve's kid?"

I nodded.

"Okay. So? You two were riding on her daddy's place?"

_Of course. Leave it to a McFadden to think of a horse before a car._

I wished that I could say I'd been riding a horse. I had a feeling Brian would be a whole lot more understanding

if that were the case.

"No, Brian. Not horseback, " I said quietly.

Brian looked puzzled for a long moment, then when he realized what I meant, he started

yelling. "A car accident?! You were in a car accident, and you didn't think you should tell somebody?!"

"Unbelieveable!" he roared.

He was roaring so loudly that Ford came to the open doorway of my room.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Shut the door, Ford!" Brian hollared, and when Ford did, Brian looked at me and

narrowed his eyes. "This happened after school? That's why you were late?"

I hesitated, wondering if I should say yes. What was the use? He would find out everything anyway.

"After lunch," I mumbled.

"What?"

"After lunch," I said, more clearly.

I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but Brian's eyes got even darker, and his face looked like it

was made of granite.

"You cut school to go **joyriding?!"**

"I'm sorry, Brian, I know it was dumb-"

"It was more than dumb, Harlie! Damn, girl! You need a come to Jesus meeting!"

I shrank back on my bed, sliding down a little, which turned out to be a bad move, because

Brian loomed even bigger and scarier when I was laying down like that. It also made my back

hurt worse.

Brian didn't miss my wince of pain. "What's wrong?" he stopped yelling to ask. "Something's hurting

you. What is it?"

"It's my back," I admitted.

"Let me see," he said, and helped me sit up. "Where at?"

"Down here," I said, pointing to the spot where it hurt the most.

Brian lifted my pajama top. I know he saw the bruise because he said, "Damn!" again.

He went to the door, and opened it, bellowing down the stairs, "Crane! Get up here!"

Great. Just what I needed.

Crane came up, and Brian lost no time in filling him in on the details of my afternoon.

Crane didn't say anything, he just looked all sad and disappointed at me.

They both sat down on the bed, and Brian hoisted me up, lifting me in a humiliating way, halfway

over his lap. He and Crane pushed and poked and prodded on my back, asking me

silly questions, like did it hurt wo_rs_e here or there.

"What did you hit it on, do you know?" Crane asked me.

"The door handle, I think."

Crane hadn't bothered to shut my bedroom door, and I heard Daniel before I actually saw

him. "What's going on?" he asked, seeing me stretched out, practically upside down,

with Crane and Brian hovering over me. "This looks like it has to have an interesting story attached."

I twisted to look at Daniel, standing there, with his guitar case in his hand.

"Go away, Daniel!" I said. Good grief, it was like Grand Central Station in here.

Crane told Daniel what was going on, and I turned my face back towards my pillow.

I didn't want to mention that it WAS hurting, the way they kept poking and pushing. I bit my lip,

determined to keep quiet. And I did, until they started discussing some nonsense about

whether my kidney might be bruised.

I struggled to look up at them. "It doesn't hurt that much," I said. "I know my kidney's not

bruised, or whatever."

They ignored me, and I struggled harder against Brian's hold. "It's fine!" I said.

"Keep still!" Brian ordered, and gave me a smack on my behind. It was a 'keep still or else'

swat, and I subsided, giving in to the tears I'd been holding back.

When Brian finally let me up, he sat there for a minute, and then he got up and went out

without saying a word, and we could hear him going downstairs. I knew he was so mad that

he left so he could get control of his temper.

I looked at Crane. " How bad? Scale of one to ten?" I asked him.

"A twelve," he said grimly.

He stood up. "I'll get you some Tylenol," he said.

"You can't!" I said, crying harder.

"Why can't I?" he asked, irritated.

"Because-because the bottle's empty!"

"For Pete's sake," Crane said, and then he left, too.

Daniel was standing there, just watching me, and I covered my face with my

hands. "Don't look at me like that, Daniel!"

"You stood in the field this afternoon and lied to me, Harlie. I'll look at you any way I damn

please. "

Crane came back carrying a new bottle of Tylenol, and a glass of water, and the

heating pad.

"Here," he said, holding two Tylenol out to me.

When I'd taken them with the water, Crane took the glass from me, and plugged the heating

pad in beside my bed. "Alright," he told me, arranging it behind my lower back. "Lean back."

"I'll come back in a while and turn it off," he said.

"Crane?" I said, watching his face thru my tears for any sign of sympathy.

"What?" he asked, shortly.

"This is the worst day of my life."

"Well, who's fault is that?" Crane returned, not sounding at all sympathetic.

When he left without saying goodnight, I turned my face away from Daniel's

intense gaze. "Go away, Daniel."

Daniel sat down on the edge of my bed. "No, I'm not gonna go away. Tell me what you were

thinking. Why would you do something so stupid?"

"I guess because I AM stupid."

"No, you're not. You're one of the smartest people I know, squirt. That's why I don't understand."

"I don't know, it sounded like fun-"

"Now that is a dumb thing to say. If that's all you've got, I'm gonna start getting mad, too, here in

a minute."

I shrugged at him, and Daniel shook his head in disgust, starting to get up.

I caught at his arm to pull him back down. "No, Dan'l, please! I can't do this without you!"

"Then give me something to go on, so I understand."

"It's just, it was such a bad morning, and it was terrible at school, too. When she asked me to

go, I just did."

Daniel frowned at me, obviously not impressed.

"I just did it, Daniel! I don't know what to say!"

"That's lame."

"It was like my head just wasn't thinking."

"Huh," he said. "I've had those moments myself."

He tucked the blankets up around me. "Better get to sleep," he said.

"Crane's mad at me," I said, in almost a whisper.

It takes a lot to make Crane angry, so Daniel knew what I meant. He nodded.

"Yeah. He'll cool off."

"Brian won't."

"Well, no, I didn't say that Brian would." Daniel smiled at me, but I didn't feel

like smiling back.

"Get to sleep, squirt. Tomorrow's another day." He kissed the top of my head, and

stood up.

He paused by the door. "Want the light off?" he asked me.

"Yeah." I felt like crying again. "Daniel?"

"What?"

"I'm a screw up."

"Naw. You're a mess up. There's a difference. Go to sleep."

"I love you, Daniel."

"Love you, too, squirt."

The Tylenol was helping a little with my pain, and I was so exhausted that I went to sleep almost

right away. As I was drifting off, I thought I heard Brian's raised voice shouting from downstairs, and

I was immensely glad that for the moment it wasn't directed at me.

7 = 7 = 7 = 7 = 7 = 7 = 7

When I woke up the next morning I knew it was later than I usually get up, because

the sun was shining into my tiny window, and there was no noise at all. The entire house

was quiet. I got up, moving carefully. My legs ached. I've never been in a car accident,

and I didn't know if that was normal for the day after.

I went to the bathroom, and then went downstairs. The big clock in the living room showed

9:30. Nine-thirty, and noone got me up for school? I wandered to the kitchen.

It was empty, too, but there was a note propped up on the kitchen table, leaning against

a loaf of bread. I picked it up to read:

'There's pancakes and bacon in the warming oven, and orange juice

in the refrigerator. Two Tylenol in the window sill if you need them. Be

dressed by 11. I'll be in at 11:30 to take you to the doctor.

Brian

Short and to the point. No loving undertones, though I guess I didn't deserve

any. Still, he'd left me breakfast. I took the Tylenol and got a glass of orange juice.

I nibbled on a piece of bacon, but threw the pancakes out the back door to Gus.

I went back upstairs and got dressed slowly. It was difficult to pull on my jeans, and

tugging my shirt over my head really pulled on my back. I tried to brush my hair, but that

really was painful, so I just made a braid, tangles and all.

The phone was ringing as I came back downstairs. I debated about answering it, thinking it might be Adam.

I thought he'd probably heard about what had happened, and I was in no hurry to talk to him. But just maybe it was

Guthrie, or Hannah. I would have given anything at that moment to hear Guthrie's voice. I hesitantly said,

"Hello?"

Allison's angry voice yelled into the phone. "Why did you say anything about yesterday?!"

"I had to! My brother saw my scratches!"

"Well, I hadn't told my father yet, and your brother called him, and now he's ragging on me!"

"I didn't know Brian called your dad."

"I don't know if it was Brian! I don't know which one it was! I told my father that a deer ran in front of me, and  
you need to back me up on that!"

"I already told Brian what happened, I can't tell him that now! It wouldn't sound right, he'll know it's a lie!"

"I don't give a damn what it sounds like! Just do it!"

She slammed the phone down. I thought then what a spoiled brat Allison really was.

Since I didn't have my homework with me to do, I sat in the living room, looking at

old photo albums of when the boys were all little. There aren't so many pictures of me and Guthrie,

but a few. Looking at the pictures made me feel weepy. I didn't know if I was just feeling

extra emotional or what. I didn't want to go to the doctor, and I wondered if I could talk Brian

out of going. I closed my eyes.

I heard Brian's boots coming up on the porch, and I sat up, realizing that I had dozed off.

He came in, and I noticed that he had grease on his jeans and his hands.

"Hey." he said.

"Hey."

"Did you eat?"

"The bacon. And juice."

"Did you take the Tylenol?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Get your jacket on. I'll go wash up and we'll get going."

I wanted to ask him if I had to go, but it didn't seem the right moment. He went into the kitchen

to wash his hands, and I started to pull my jacket on. When he came back, I was still

struggling. Without saying anything, he held it out so I could push my arms into the sleeves.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Yep."

I had to grit my teeth to get up into the Jeep, and I know Brian noticed.

It's a twenty minute drive to Murphys from our house, and it was quiet the whole

way, until I said, "Why do I have to go to the doctor?"

"Because Crane and I think you should, just to make sure you're okay."

"Where is Crane?" I asked, wishing he was here, too.

"The vet's coming to look at the calf."

I subsided, until Brian pulled up in front of the doctor's office, and parked the Jeep.

He came around to my side, obviously to help me get out, but I sat still.

"Come on," he said, impatiently.

"I don't think I need to see the doctor, Brian."

"You can't even get your own jacket on. You need to see him. Come on."

"The Tylenol really helped. And the heating pad. I think if I just rest a little-"

Brian half lifted, and half pulled me down, towing me along, until I pulled back.

"Brian! I don't need to!"

Brian turned to look at me, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet, but hard.

"Young lady, you don't get to decide whether or not you're going in there. I'm saying

that you ARE. Now, you either walk, or I'll pick you up and carry you in over my shoulder."

Well, when he put it that way.

7b47b 7b47b 7b47b

I've known Dr. Fairbanks all my life. He's stitched up every single one of my brothers on more than

one occasion, and set their broken bones. He says Evan holds the record.

He's even had to patch me up a few times when I was younger, when Guthrie and I had one of our more adventurous escapades.

When he was done examining me, asking me questions, he straightened up and rubbed

absently at the back of his neck. I thought I'd done alright answering his questions, but he gave

me a 'dad' type look and said firmly, "Now, Harlie, I know that bruise has to be very painful. Pretending

that it's not isn't going to make it so. How about you answer my questions a little more honestly

this time, alright?"

I avoided Brian's dark look, and said, humbly, "Yes, sir."

It turned out that Crane and Brian's hunch was right, I DID have a bruised kidney. I listened to

the doctor give Brian instructions. I thought sarcastically that they'd both think they should have an

M.D. behind their names now, too.

Dr. Fairbanks was laying out the rules. "No school for two weeks. No lifting. No strenuous activity.

Plenty of rest."

I wondered glumly if 'no lifting' or 'no strenuous activity' meant I didn't have to do

chores.

"Her appetite's likely to be down, but it's important she eats what she can," he was telling Brian.

When we left the office, Brian was carrying a prescription for pain medication. He helped me into  
the Jeep, and I leaned against the door, feeling like I could burst into tears at any moment.

Brian pulled in the drugstore, and parked. When he came back out he was carrying my  
medicine. He sat for a minute, reading the instructions, and then drove down the street  
and pulled into the grocery store. He didn't say anything this time, either, but he came  
out with a box of crackers and a small bottle of chocolate milk.

"It says this has to be taken with food," he said. "So let's get something in your stomach  
so you can take one."

I wanted to protest that I couldn't eat, not one bite, or I'd be sick, but Brian was holding the  
milk out to me, and he didn't look like he was going to take no for an answer.

I drank half the milk and ate a few crackers while we sat there in the parking lot, and then  
Brian handed me one of the pills, putting the bottle in his shirt pocket.

The ride home began as silently as the ride into town had been. Afterwards, I wished that it had  
stayed silent.

"Was there a deer involved in your little adventure last night?" Brian asked.

I looked at him, and then looked away, back out my window. He must have talked to Allison's father  
a second time if he knew about that. I was trying to decide whether to go along with  
Allison's story or not.

Brian reached over and flicked my leg. "I asked you a question."

"I guess."

"You guess? There either was a deer, or there wasn't."

"Why ask me?" I said, in a less than respectful tone.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, if Allison says there was a deer, and her father believes her, then why ask me? I mean, she's  
a princess at her house. I'm not."

"Look at me," he ordered.

I looked at his angry face. "What?"

"Don't 'what' me. You're being rude and sassy. Knock it off."

"Why? You and Crane are mad at me, you're so mad you can't even hardly talk to me."

"And you think talking like this is going to make me less mad?"

"I don't know," I said carelessly.

Brian pulled the Jeep to the side of the road, and stopped so fast that the tires squealed in protest. He switched

off the engine. "You're right," he said. "I am mad at you. I'm more angry with you now than I've ever been."

"I told you I was sorry, Bri!"

"I know you did. But that's not good enough."

"I figured I'd be grounded forever, too-"

"You're gonna be grounded, too, alright. And we are going to discuss the deer, and the other

details of last night. But before we do that, we're gonna get something else straightened out

first."

"Like what?" I asked, in a near whisper. I didn't like the look on Brian's face.

"Like the fact that you left school to go joyriding for one. And the fact that you've done

nothing but lie and try to hide that you'd been in a car accident, for another. And because of those

two things, I'm gonna turn you over my knee."

I stared at Brian in horror. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been spanked by Brian, or Adam, or anybody

for that matter.

"No, Brian! I won't leave school anymore! I won't lie to you ever again!"

"That's good. I hope not. This is gonna be an added incentive to help that along."

Brian got out and came around to my side of the Jeep.

"Bri! I don't want you to!"

"I'm sure not," he said dryly, pulling me out of the Jeep.

"I'm too old for you to spank!" I protested.

"Nope," he said, pulling me along.

"You can't!" I told him. "My back's hurt!"

"I promise I'll aim my incentive lower down than that."

The problem with living in the country like we do is that there's lots of downed  
trees around. Brian found a log and sat down, pulling me across his knee.

He spanked me so hard that it felt like my behind was on fire. When he let  
me up, I would have sworn right then that I would never, ever lie to anyone again.

When we got back into the Jeep, Brian started the motor, and said quietly,

"I know it seems like I'm being tough on you. But I love you, Harlie, I love you enough  
that I'm not gonna let you turn out wrong."

There was no talking after that, and the only sound the rest of the way home was me  
crying.

7

When we got home, we met Daniel, Evan, and Ford coming out of the house. Their hands were full of  
cookies and apples, and Evan was eating a big chunk of cheese.

"Did you hogs leave any food at all?" Brian asked them.

"Not much," Evan said.

"You're home early," Brian told Ford.

"Water pipe burst," Ford said, around his mouthful of cookies.

"Did somebody get something out of the freezer for supper?"

"Crane did. Hamburger," Daniel said.

"Okay. I'll make chili," Brian said.

It was obvious to anyone that was paying attention that I'd been crying, and Daniel  
is good about paying attention. He smiled at me in sympathy, but I didn't feel like smiling back.

Brian opened the front door, ushering me in ahead of him.

"Hey!" he yelled at the boys. "Will one of you do Harlie's chores? And tell Crane to

come in as soon as he gets a chance, okay?"

The boys all said okay, but I knew it would be Daniel who did my chores.

When we went into the living room, Brian hung his jacket up, and helped me out of mine.

I felt like limp spaghetti, I was so tired.

"You want to lay down awhile?" he asked me.

I nodded.

"Okay. Get your boots off. I'll get you a blanket."

When Brian came back with my favorite quilt, I was sitting on the couch, but I'd only  
managed to get one boot off. He lifted my foot, and pulled off my other boot.

"Lay down," he said, motioning towards the couch.

He covered me with the quilt, and I think I was asleep almost right away.

+7+7+7+7+7+7+7

When I woke up, Ford was sitting in the chair next to the couch, doing homework. He was  
singing kind of softly. It was a Johnny Cash song, 'Ring of Fire', and for a minute I just  
laid there, listening. I love to hear Ford sing. When I moved and stretched a little, Ford  
looked over at me.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey."

"Did I wake you up?"

"No. I think I've been asleep a long time."

"Yeah. It's after six. You missed supper."

"That's okay." I didn't feel like eating, anyway.

"Oh, we saved you some," he grinned.

"Where is everybody?"

"Daniel's gone, but everybody else is in the kitchen. They didn't want to wake you up, talking  
in here."

"Oh." I struggled to sit up, wincing as my sore behind came into contact with the couch. "Ouch."

"Brian said the doctor gave you some pain pills. You want me to get you one?" Ford offered.

"No, thanks," I said, choosing not to enlighten Ford on the exact location of my pain at that

moment.

"I'll tell 'em you're up," he offered.

"That's okay. Can't we just talk for a minute.?"

"Okay."

"Anything happen at school today? Besides the water pipe breaking?"

"Not really. I brought your homework home. It's up in your room."

"Ughh. That's not what I meant."

"I know." He grinned. "Crane told me to get it for you."

"Was Allison at school today?"

"I don't think so. I didn't see her."

"I guess you think I'm pretty dumb, too, huh? For going with Allison?"

"I don't think you're dumb at all. That's why I don't understand. I mean, why do you  
want to be friends with her for, anyway?"

"I don't want to, Ford. Not anymore. It was temporary insanity. She's a spoiled brat."

"Yeah. She sure seems like it. Stuckup, too."

"Spoiled and stuckup. And snotty."

"Yeah. Mean, too." He was grinning now.

"Yeah. And ugly."

Ford held up a hand. "I'll have to stop you right there. That girl is definately NOT ugly."

"Oh, you male you!" I giggled, and tossed a pillow at him. That pulled on my back, and

I winced again. "Oww."

"You okay?" he asked. "We better quit fooling around."

"It's okay. This is the best part of the whole last two days, Ford. I'm sorry you had  
to look for me after school yesterday."

"Yeah. Well, I was worried."

"I'm sorry."

The sounds of our voices had reached the kitchen, and Crane came into the living room.

"Well, hey," he said. "You ready for something to eat?"

"I'm not very hungry," I told him.

"Well, you have to eat. Besides, Brian outdid himself with the chili." He went back towards the  
kitchen, and returned with a tray, with a bowl of chili, cheese, crackers, and a glass of milk.

I looked up at Crane, feeling overwhelmed.

"Eat what you can," he said, sinking down beside me on the couch, and stretching his long legs out.

Evan and Brian came out, too, and when Evan sat down opposite me, I looked up to see  
him watching me. I waited for him to say something bossy or insulting to me, but he  
didn't. He even gave me a half-way smile.

"Guess what, Har?" he said.

"What?" I asked,

"You remember Arlene Ramsey?"

"Uh huh."

"You know how long she's been after Darrel Akes? Well, he finally asked her out, I heard."

"He did? Wow. That took a long time."

"Yeah. I think she's had their wedding planned for two years or more."

"Maybe they'll go out, and she'll find out she doesn't like him at all."

"I bet that's what happens," Evan agreed.

After that, the four of them started talking, mostly about ranch stuff. The subject of the sick calf was  
uppermost in the conversation. Doc G, the local veterinarian, had come out that morning, and Brian  
and Crane were discussing the cost of the vet visit, and medication.

"One of you boys has got to go to vet school," Brian was telling Evan and Ford. "So we can have our  
own family vet, and save all this money."

The boys were laughing, and Crane said something about no more expenses the rest of the month.

Brian told Crane to talk to the cows and the tractor about that. He was joking, but I could tell he  
and Crane were both worried about money.

I'd been trying to eat, but I gave up, trying to keep my tears at bay, thinking about the money Brian  
had pulled out of his wallet for my doctor visit, and then the medicine at the drugstore.

"What's the matter?" Crane asked me, laying a hand on my leg.

"I cost you guys money today. That could have paid the vet bill for the baby calf," I said tearfully.

Crane and Brian looked at each other, and then Crane said, "Ev, can you take the tray to the

kitchen? And then can you guys disappear for awhile?"

After the boys had gone outside, Crane said, "Time to talk."

"Okay," I said.

"And, it's important you tell us the truth about everything," Crane told me.

Before I could tell him that I would, Brian spoke up, "She's not gonna lie to us, Crane. She's done  
with that. Right, Harlie?"

I tried to meet his direct look. I could still feel the sting in my backside. I had no intention of  
lying. "Right," I said quietly.

"Was there a deer last night?" Brian asked.

"No."

Brian didn't look surprised at my answer. I think he knew that already.

"What caused her to hit a tree?" Crane asked.

"She was lighting a cigarette."

"Where did you go during this ride?" Brian asked.

"Nowhere. Just driving, mostly. Then when she hit the tree, we had to walk to town,  
and Jake went to tow her car."

"And you got home how?"

"Old Vernon gave me a ride."

"Huh."

They both looked at me for a minute, and then Crane said, "You've never done anything  
like this before, Har. What provoked this?"

I remembered my talk with Daniel the night before.

"I don't have any excuses," I said. "I just-" I looked at their expectant faces. "It was an  
impulse. A bad one," I finished with a sigh.

"Here's how it's going to go," Brian said. "You have two weeks according to the doctor that  
you can't ride. When that's done, you have two more weeks from me."

A month without riding Petra! She would be impossible to control by then!

Now Crane was talking. "Ford, or Guthrie when he gets home, will get your homework for you  
every day. I think Ford brought some home today."

"He put it in my room, he said."

"Okay. Well, since there's not alot you can do for a couple weeks besides keep up on your  
homework, you can do a report every day. I'll give you the list of subjects in the morning.  
Two thousand words, each. That should help keep you occupied."

That was a new one. I looked at Crane, bewildered. Two thousand words sounded  
like an awful lot. I realized that they had most likely used my nap time to agree on my  
punishment.

"And," Brian said, "it goes without saying, that you aren't going to hang around with  
the Butler kid anymore. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Any questions?" he asked me.

I wanted to ask about Petra, and what a month with no one riding her would do to her  
training, but I couldn't work up my courage. Brian still looked like he was angry.

"No questions," I said.

Brian looked at Crane. "That all?" he asked.

"That's all." Crane answered.

"Okay. I'm gonna make some coffee," Brian said, and went off towards the kitchen.

Crane kind of jiggled my knee with his hand. "It probably seems like we're being  
hard on you. But considering what you did, we went pretty easy."

Easy! Getting the daylights paddled out of me, no horseback riding, and writing what  
would probably be a million words! That didn't sound easy to me. But I knew better than  
to complain. Besides, Brian was too close by for me to complain.

Crane stood up, and held out a hand to me to help me up. He looped his arms over my shoulders  
and said, "Look at me."

When I looked up into his face, he said, "You scared me so badly, Harlie. You know how we  
worry about car accidents, right?"

Of course I knew! Considering that my parents were killed in a car accident, I knew it was  
a fear that the older guys had. But I had to admit, I hadn't thought of it in the last two days.

"I'm sorry, Crane!"

"I believe that you are sorry. Accidents can happen anytime, and not be a person's fault.  
But like this situation, when you were where you weren't supposed to be, that's a preventable  
accident. You understand that?"

"Yes."

"That's why Brian and I are so upset with you. Because you PUT yourself in that situation."

"Brian's mad because I lied."

"Well, sure, that too, of course. But mostly, he was scared. Just like me. If something happened  
to you, Harlie," he hesitated, and brushed back my hair with one hand. "Well, I think it'd just  
about kill us."

I felt tears running down my cheek, and Crane reached up with a thumb to wipe them off.

"I'm going to ask you something that I never have before. I want you to promise me you'll  
never put yourself at this kind of risk again. I want you to think twice, three times even, before  
you make a decision to do something you know is wrong. I want your word, Harlie."

"I give you my word," I said, really quietly. And I meant it, too. I was sorrier than I could explain  
for being the cause of the worry on Crane's face.

"Alright," he said, and stepped back a little. "Are you going to take a shower tonight, or in the  
morning?"

A shower sounded really good, but I didn't think I could stay awake long enough to accomplish  
it. "In the morning," I told him.

"Okay. Is the heating pad still in your room?"

"It was this morning."

"Go on up and get into your pajamas. I'll bring your medicine up in a couple minutes."

I trudged up the stairs, feeling as though both of my feet weighed twenty pounds each.

I was in my pajamas, already under the blankets, when I saw Evan standing at the door.

"Hey," he said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. You can come in."

"Truce?" he asked, with a grin.

"Truce."

Evan came in and sat down in the chair by my bed.

"So, a bruised kidney, huh?"

"I guess so. Have you ever had that?"

Evan's had so many injuries from his rodeoing that I figured he had.

"Nope. One thing I've never had."

"You have a rodeo this weekend?"

"Yeah. In Modesto."

"I wish I could go. I bet you'll do good."

"Thanks."

When Crane came in with a glass of milk and my medicine, Evan stood up.

"See you," he told me.

"Night, Ev."

I took the medicine and drank the milk.

"Did you brush your teeth?" Crane asked.

"No."

"Don't you think you should?"

"No. I've decided to let all my teeth rot out, and I'll eat ice cream the rest  
of my life."

"That's a plan. Of course, being toothless, we'll never be able to get you married  
off."

I giggled. It felt good to joke around with Crane.

"Well, then, I guess you'll be stuck with me forever," I told him.

Crane kissed the top of my head. "Actually," he said, "that would be just fine with me." 

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	4. searching for understanding

I didn't know for certain what time it was when I woke up in pain, the worst pain I'd felt

since the accident. I got out of bed, and switched on my lamp. I thought I could tough it out, but

when it practically doubled me over in pain, I knew I couldn't. Maybe it wasn't a bruised kidney at

all. Maybe there was something worse wrong.

I tried to calm down. Maybe I should wake Crane up. Then I remembered seeing Crane

set my bottle of medicine on the end table downstairs last night before I went to bed.

I got my flashlight and headed down the stairs, intent on taking one of the pills and

some milk. At the bottom of the stairs I saw the light of the TV illuminating the living

room. Brian was stretched out on the couch, where he must have been watching TV,

and he was snoring softly.

As quietly as I could, I walked thru the living room, looking on the end table for my medicine.

When I didn't see it there, I looked at the other tables, and then the coffee table near the couch

by Brian. Papers, glasses, a bowl of leftover popcorn, but no medicine bottle anywhere.

A spasm of pain shot thru me, and I touched Brian's shoulder. No response, so I did it again,

a little harder.

"Bri," I said, in an anguished whisper. "Wake up."

Brian stirred a little. "Huh? What's the matter?"

"I need my medicine, Bri! I can't find it!"

More awake now, Brian sat up, and switched on the floor lamp beside the couch.

He took me in at a glance and said, "What's wrong?"

"I need my medicine! Just tell me where it is, and then you can go back to sleep!"

Brian stood up. "You hurtin' bad?" he asked.

I nodded in misery.

"I put it up in the kitchen cabinet." He pushed me gently down onto the couch. "Sit down here. I'll

get it."

Brian was back quickly, carrying a glass of milk and one of the now familiar white pills. He waited

while I took it, and then he went back to the kitchen, this time returning with another glass of milk

and a box of crackers. He sat down beside me on the couch, and took a drink from his glass.

"Here." he said, holding out the box of crackers to me.

"I don't want any."

"You say no. I say yes. Eat a few of them."

I took several crackers out of the box and nibbled on them.

"I'm sorry I had to wake you up," I said.

"It's fine."

"I tried to cowgirl up. I just couldn't do it."

"Doc says he's seen a bruised kidney lay a grown man out. It hurts, that's what the medicine's

for. No shame in that." He reached forward and snapped off the television set.

"Ready to head back up to bed?"

"Could I sit down here for awhile?"

"Sure, okay." He reached over and grabbed a blanket at the end of the couch.

"Better?" he asked me, when he had tucked it around me.

"Yeah. Alot better." It seemed like the medicine was helping already. At least my back

didn't hurt so badly.

We were quiet for a few minutes, but it was a good silence, not uncomfortable.

Finally, I found the words I wanted to say to him.

"I'm sorry about everything, Bri. I know I messed up. And I feel real bad, for worrying you

all like I did."

Brian was quiet for a minute, and then he reached over and took my hand, squeezing it.

"I just don't like it when you lie to me, Harlie."

"I'm sorry," I said again, softly.

He kept hold of my hand, and I leaned my head against his arm.

"Remember when you broke your ribs?" I asked him.

"I remember. Kind of hard to forget that. All trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey."

I couldn't help the giggle that slipped out.

"Nobody could keep you still."

"Probably why they took so darn long to heal up."

"Cause you're so stubborn, huh?"

"I've been accused of it a time or two."

"Good thing I don't take after you in that, huh?" I said, joking with him.

"Oh yeah," he said, dryly. "A real good thing."

We were quiet again, then. I was starting to relax, and get drowsy.

"Do you understand why I did what I did?" Brian asked me.

I thought of those horrible moments by the side of the road.

"I understand," I told him. I rubbed my chin on his shoulder. "I'm not mad at you for

what you did, Bri."

"Okay."

"Are we okay?" I asked him. "I mean, are things between us straight again?"

"We're straight."

I looked up at him. "Maybe I'll be the one to go to veterinary school for you," I told him.

Brian smiled. "I'd be thrilled."

7^ 7^7^7^7^7^7

When I woke up the next morning I was back in my bed, and didn't even remember

getting there. I got out of bed slowly, pulled my hair back in a band, and went downstairs.

Crane was sitting in the living room, papers on his lap and all around him, writing in

a notebook.

"Good morning," he said.

"Morning." I looked at the clock. "Wow. Ten o'clock."

"Starting to keep princess hours, Har."

"Well, if the glass slipper fits, wear it," I quipped.

Crane moved the papers off his lap and into a pile on the table.

"Breakfast," he said, propelling me towards the kitchen.

"So breakfast menu or lunch menu?" he asked me. "Ten o'clock, could go either way."

"It doesn't matter," I told him, and he started getting food out of the refrigerator.

"So you're my babysitter today, huh?" I asked him.

"Yep. I drew the short straw."

"Ha ha. Not funny," I told him.

Crane set a glass of milk in front of me, and then handed me my medicine.

"Brian says you had a rough night last night."

"Yeah. Kind of."

"I'm thinking that we better stay on a schedule with your pain medicine, even if we

have to wake you up to take it. That way you won't have any more nights like last night."

"Yes, Dr. McFadden."

"Hannah agrees with me, by the way."

I felt my mood slip. "Hannah knows about everything? And Adam, too?"

Crane gave me a look. "They had to find out sometime, goofy."

I sighed. "I guess."

Crane set a plate in front of me, laden with a ham sandwich, complete with lettuce and tomato,

and a generous serving of cottage cheese. I looked up at him.

"I can't eat all this, Crane!"

"Au contraire. You can." He put the ham and bread back into the refrigerator.

"I'm going to go get laundry from upstairs. Don't even think about throwing any of that

out to Gus."

"I wasn't thinking that."

When Crane came back downstairs with an armful of dirty jeans, he went to put them

in the washer. By the time he was done, I'd managed half the sandwich and most of

the cottage cheese.

I looked at him pleadiñgly. "I can't eat any more."

"Okay," he relented. "Finish your milk."

When I'd put my dishes in the sink, I smiled at Crane. "So what's on the agenda? A rousing

game of chess?"

"What's on is a rousing game of homework."

"Okay, okay. I was joking, Crane."

"Well, I'm not. Get busy."

It took me over an hour to do my homework, and to my frustration I was

tired already.

I went to lay on the couch, looking upside down as Crane came back inside.

"How's the calf?" I asked him.

"About the same."

"Homework done?" he asked, coming to stand beside the couch.

"Yeah."

Crane tore a sheet of paper out of one of the notebooks on the table and handed

it to me. It had a list of Presidents names on it. The reports. I sighed.

"Right now?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was whining.

"I don't care when you do it, as long as it's done before you go to bed."

I looked over the list. "Do I have to go in order?"

"No. However you want."

"That's sweet of you," I said. I'd meant to sound teasing, but Crane raised

his eyebrow, not looking amused. Crane is tall, and he looked even taller

from my lying flat position.

"I mean, 'yes, sir'," I said meekly.

Crane sighed. "Look, Harlie. I'm probably going to be the one around here the

most with you, at least until Hannah gets home. It would be unfortunate if we

started having problems with punishment this early on. Unfortunate in the fact

that those reports can go from two to three thousand words."

I looked at Crane in horror. "I'm sorry, Crane! I'll shut up, I promise!"

"Well, if you're not going to take it seriously-"

"I'll take it seriously!"

"Okay. No more comments or complaints."

"Not a word," I promised.

Crane sat down with his papers again, and I looked over the list.

I chose a name and went to get the encyclopedia I needed from the

shelf.

Adam calls it the library, but Hannah says it's more a home

for dust and dust bunnies.

I went back to sit down, and wrote for awhile.

"Crane?"

"What?" he asked, without looking up.

"There's not very much about President Taft. It's going to

be hard to write two thousand words."

Crane looked at me and I said quickly,

"I'm not complaining, there really isn't very much."

"Well, get that book about all the Presidents, see if there's more

in there about him."

I pushed myself off the couch and went back to the bookshelf.

After a couple minutes I said, "Isn't that the big black book?"

"Yeah."

"It's not here."

Crane looked up again, taking off his glasses to frown

at me. " Harlie. Not my project, not my problem. Figure it out."

I could remember seeing the book somewhere recently, and I tried to think where

it was. Then I'd remembered that I'd seen Ford with it a few weeks before. I went upstairs

to Ford and Evan's room, opening the door and grimacing. Ford's side of the room was

fairly clean, but Evan's side was messy and downright disgusting. I picked my way

around his dirty clothes on the floor, and candy bar wrappers, and dirty dishes. I just

happened to look towards the window and then I saw the book. The boys were

using it to prop the window open. I went over and tried to move it, but the window

was stuck. I yanked a little, and was able to pull it out, but it pulled on my back.

I stood there a minute, catching my breath. Wow, I thought. This bruised kidney

stuff is nothing to mess with.

I shut the door to their bedroom, and went back downstairs, muttering to myself

about how heavy the book was, and how I didn't want to write reports about

Presidents, but when Crane looked up and said, "Found it, huh?",

I wisely kept my complaints to myself and just said, "Yeah."

I wrote for what seemed like forever, until Ford came in from school, and Evan

came in with him. Evan headed to the kitchen, and came back, carrying a handful

of cookies.

"Here," Ford said, handing me a folder of homework. "Mrs. Irwin says since you missed

the quiz to double up on the problems in the book. She put a note in there for you."

"Joy and jubilation," I said in irritation.

"What's wrong, Har?" he asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"What's for supper?" Ford asked Crane, taking one of Evan's cookies.

"Chicken and rice."

"Any dessert?" Ford asked hopefully.

"Brownies sound okay?" Crane asked him, with a grin.

"Brownies sound fantastic," Ford said.

Crane laughed and went towards the kitchen.

I was so frustrated right then I felt as if I was going to explode. Unfortunately, for Evan,

he happened to be there at that moment. Evan will argue back with me, whereas Ford and

Guthrie won't. Evan makes a good target for my bad moods.

"Your room is disgusting," I told them, as Evan slouched into

a chair to eat his cookies. "Especially your side, Evan."

"So?"

"So, it's disgusting. It looks like a family of pigs lives in there."

"I thought we called truce," he reminded me.

"We did. I'm just telling you. You better get it cleaned up before

Hannah gets home."

"If you don't like it, don't go in there," Evan said.

"I would be happy to never go in there, but unfortunately, I HAD to go in, to

find something that should never have been in there in the first place!" I snapped,

and thumped the black book.

"So go in, get it, and go back out. Mind your own business."

"I'm surprised you don't catch some disease from living in filth," I told him.

Ford, ever the peacemaker, said, "Har, come on-"

But I was on a roll. "I bet Chelsee Thomas would think it was disgusting, too," I said,

naming Evan's current love interest.

Evan brushed cookie crumbs off his jeans. "Why don't you give everybody around here a break,

Harlie, and stop being a pain in the ass?"

I could feel myself getting more angry. I was so mad that I wanted to make Evan mad, too.

"Why don't you shut up?!" I countered childishly.

Evan stood up. "I don't think I will," he said. "I think I'll tell you some honest truth about

yourself."

I stood up, too, glaring at him. "There's nothing you need to tell me!"

"Well, somebody needs to tell you what's what."

"I've heard everything I need to hear!" I yelled. From Brian! Crane! Daniel! I'll have to

hear it from Adam, and probably even Guthrie! I don't need YOU to tell me what's what!"

"Everybody around here's trying to be nice to you, and help you, even though you

did something stupid. And you don't even appreciate it, you're just being a spoiled brat."

"I'm not a spoiled brat!"

Evan eyes were flashing in temper. He kind of looked me over, and then he said,

"I call it as I see it. And I see a brat." He turned and went towards the front

door.

I yelled after him, "Well, I call it as I see it! And I see a bonafied jerk!"

Evan's only answer to that was the slammed front door. Ford gave me a look,

and I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't, he just turned and

went outside, too, but he shut the door quietly.

I was breathing hard, and my face felt hot. I felt like throwing something, and I

might have, but I turned to see Crane standing there, a big cooking spoon in his

hand. I guessed that he'd heard the whole argument between Evan and I.

Great, I thought. Now I'll catch it for that, too. But Crane didn't say anything.

He just shook his head a little and went back to the kitchen.

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	5. Adam and Apples

When Crane called everybody to supper, I went to him and said quietly,

"I'm not hungry. It hasn't been that long since I ate lunch."

"Technically, that was breakfast for you. You need to eat. Sit down."

I hardly said a word at supper. I wished like crazy that Guthrie was sitting in his regular spot

to my right. It seemed like my world would be a whole lot brighter if he was.

Luckily, for him, Evan didn't say anything to me, or even look my way. More than likely

he was mad. Oh, well, let him be mad. I didn't care. He had a big nerve telling me I was a brat.

After supper, I went back to my report. I was working on it when the phone rang. I knew

even before Ford answered that it was Adam calling. He always tries to call at the same time every

night, so that he can catch as many of us as he can. Since I'd gone to bed so early the night before,

I'd missed his call. I knew Adam was going to have plenty to say to me about what I'd done, and I wanted to

avoid it as long as possible.

Everybody else was taking their turn and I wrote furiously. Crane was sitting on one of the tall bar

stools by the phone, while Evan talked. I went to Crane and laid my finished report on his knee.

"Your turn to talk next," he told me.

"I'm going to bed," I said, and made my escape upstairs.

Since I'd spent the day in my pajamas, all I had to do was brush my teeth. That's what I

was doing when Crane came to lean in the bathroom doorway.

"Come down and take your turn."

"I'm tired. I want to go to bed."

"You can go to bed right after."

"I don't feel like talking."

"Not even to Hannah? She's asking for you."

"She is?" I looked up at him.

"Yep. You going to hurt Hannah's feelings just because you think Adam

might growl at you?"

I rinsed my mouth, thinking. I sighed. "No," I said.

"That's my girl.". He squeezed my hand and we went back downstairs.

Brian was talking now, but when he saw me standing there, hesitating at the bottom

of the stairs, he said, " Here she is," and held out the phone to me.

"It's Hannah," he told me.

Crane gave me a little push forward, and I took the receiver from Brian.

"Hello?"

"Oh, sweetie!" Hannah's sweet voice said. "How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"I've been so worried about you!" Her breath caught and it sounded like she

was crying. Which made me tear up, too.

"Please don't cry! I'm alright, I really am."

"You're doing everything the doctor said?" she asked, sounding as if she was trying

to get ahold of her emotions.

"Yes."

"And Brian and Crane, they're looking after you?"

"They're doing a good job."

"I wish I could be there with you, see for myself that you're alright."

"Please don't worry, I want you to have fun!"

"We'll be home Friday. If everybody's at home that night, we'll do Around the World," Hannah

said, changing the subject.

"That sounds good," I told her. Around the World is when Hannah, or anybody else

that wants to, can cook something from any country they want to. In the past, we've

fixed Mexican, Chinese, Italian, and of course, good old American hamburgers.

"Guthrie says to tell you that he has a surprise for you, but he's sworn me to

secrecy," Hannah said.

"That's cool. Will you tell him I miss him?"

"I will. I love you, sweetie, I'll talk to you soon."

"I love you, too."

"Here's Adam," she said, and before I could protest, I heard him say,

"Hey, sugar plum."

Sugar plum? Wow. At least he wasn't going to start out the conversation by taking

my head off.

"Hi."

"I have something to say to you, Harlie. Are you listening?"

"Yes," I whispered. I turned around to find the living room empty. At least I wouldn't

have witnesses when he started yelling at me.

"'The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.' That's a quote from

a man named John Powell."

"It's a good quote," I said quietly.

"It is. I've said it to myself plenty of times. I want you to remember it, too."

"I will."

"Think this will turn out to be a real mistake? Or are you thinking you're going to

learn from it?"

"I've learned from it."

"Okay."

"Are you mad at me, Adam?"

"That's a question you already know the answer to, Harlie."

"What's going to happen-when you get home, i mean?"

"We'll sit on the porch, and have a heart to heart talk, and go from there, alright?"

I sighed. I felt like I was all talked out.

"Okay."

"Alright. I miss you, and I love you, and I'll see you in a couple of days. Put Brian

back on the phone, okay?"

"Okay." I laid the receiver on the table and went to the kitchen where everybody

was congregated.

"Adam wants to talk to you again," I told Brian.

"Okay," he said, and tugged my braid as he went past me.

Evan and Ford were sitting at the table, devouring brownies.

"Want a snack?" Crane asked me.

"No, thanks."

"Well, it's time for your medicine anyway, so you have to eat something. What sounds good?"

I sighed. I wanted to protest that I wasn't hungry, yell that I was tired and just wanted

to go to bed, but I didn't want to hurt Crane's feelings. Besides, Evan was sitting there,

and I didn't need him saying that I was still acting bratty.

"Do we have any oranges?" I asked.

"I think so." Crane rooted around in the refrigerator until he pulled out a sack of oranges.

"Hey," Ford protested, "I didn't know we had oranges."

"That's because I have to hide stuff from you wolverines, or we wouldn't have anything

left to eat," Crane told him.

"Ha ha," Ford said, apparently not insulted, because he said, "So can you toss me an

orange, then?"

Crane rolled his eyes, and tossed an orange at Ford, and Ford caught it in one hand.

I ate my orange and drank some milk, and took my medicine, standing up to push

my chair into the table.

"Hey, don't forget I'm gonna wake you up in-" Crane looked at the clock, "four hours or so

to give you more medicine."

"Okay. Night."

Crane and Ford both said goodnight, but Evan didn't, and I didn't say it to him, either.

I resisted the urge I had to thump him on his head as I passed behind him. I didn't think

I could outrun him quite yet, until my back was better, anyway.

7/7/7/7/7/7/7/

The next day was basically more of the same. I got up, ate, and then did homework.

After homework, the report of the day. Today was John Adams. By the time supper rolled

around, I was feeling closed in, and I wanted to scream. I'm not used to being inside all

the time like this.

I picked at my supper, until Crane said that it reminded him of a phase I went thru

when I was eight.

"That was your 'I'm not touching anything that's green' phase of eating. Remember, Brian?"

"Yeah. Green, or red, either, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I think so," Crane said.

"Crazy kid," Brian said.

"I'm sitting right here, you know," I told them. "And it wasn't every single thing that was green.

Just spinach, and asparagus is what I wouldn't eat."

"And peas, too," Ford chimed in.

"And brussel sprouts," Crane added.

"Well, brussel sprouts, now that I understand," Brian said, and they laughed.

After supper Daniel said he would go check on the calf, and Evan went with him. I watched

them go, wishing I could get outside, too.

I surveyed Brian, stacking the supper dishes, and Crane, running hot water into the sink.

All the further that Crane had let me go was the front porch the last two days.

"Could I go outside?" I asked them.

Crane looked at me suspiciously. "And do what?"

"Just walk around a little. Go see the baby calf. I'm going stir crazy, Crane."

I knew if anyone understood how cooped up I felt, it would be Brian, and when I

looked at him, he looked sympathetic.

"Just walk around. Nothing else," Crane said.

"Nothing else," I promised.

Crane looked at Brian. "What do you think?"

"I think it's alright. Your baby chick will be fine, mama hen."

I giggled at the look on Crane's face.

"Mama hen! I cook, and clean, and look

after all these kids, working my fingers to the bone around here, and that's the thanks I get!

No respect!" He sounded insulted, but I knew he was just playing along.

"Alright," he told me. "Go on. Don't be long."

"Thanks, mama," I teased him, and went before he changed his mind.

I went to look at the horses first, and Petra came up to the fence, seeing if I had

any treats for her. I decided to go to the barn to get her some horse treats or an apple.

Daniel and Evan were looking over the baby calf as I passed by them in the barn.

"How is he?" I asked.

"Better," Daniel said. "So the wardens gave you a pass out of prison?"

"Yeah. Just for a bit."

I went over to the corner where all the apples were. One of the neighbors brought us a bunch

of apples to feed our pigs, and they're in bins against the wall. I sorted thru them. Some of them were getting

rotten, and others were still good. I found two good ones that I planned to feed Petra.

Daniel came out of the stall and came over to me.

"Gonna give Petra an apple?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, don't get in there with her. Your back might get bumped."

I sighed. "I know, Daniel."

Evan spoke up from the stall with the calf. "Don't give any apples to Sierra. You probably

shouldn't give any to Petra, either. Those apples are all rotten."

And just like that, I was mad again. "There's still some good ones. I wouldn't give my

horse a rotten apple, Evan."

"Okay, fine," he said.

"There's something out there, Evan, maybe you haven't heard of it. It's

called MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS!"

"Go feed Petra the apples, squirt," Daniel said quietly.

"Yeah," Evan said, "and then go back inside and give your grief to Brian

and Crane.". He turned to shut the door to the stall.

I was livid. Filled with frustration. Temporarily insane. I reached into one

of the bins, and grabbed one of the nasty mushy apples, and chucked it

straight at Evan. I aimed it at the center of his back, and since I'm typically

a pretty good shot, normally it would have been dead on.

Throwing it pulled on my back, though, so it was a little off. It hit his

shoulder with a juicy splat, and some of it splashed onto his cheek.

He turned on me furiously. I'd been trying to rile him up for days, and

it looked like I'd finally succeeded. " Dammit, Harlie!"

He started towards me, retaliation in his eye. I don't think he would really

have done anything to me, mostly because of my back, but I didn't have to find

out, because Daniel stepped in front of me. "Go cool off, Ev," he said.

"You're makin' me crazy!" he yelled. "If you weren't hurt right now, Harlie, I'd take

you down a notch!"

"Don't let that stop you!" I yelled back.

"You're awfully mouthy with Daniel standing there to protect you."

I picked up another rotten apple, ready to hurl it at him. "Give me a reason, Evan!"

Daniel gave me a dark look, and knocked the apple out of my hand. "That's enough."

"Tell him that!"

"Harlie. Shut. Up."

Well, I shut up then.

Evan stalked out of the barn, and even though I knew I shouldn't find it funny,

the thought of Evan with apple all over his shirt and face made me smile a little.

When Daniel turned on me with a steely eye, I quit smiling.

"What?" I asked him.

"You know what. You came out here looking for a fight with Evan."

"I don't think so."

"Well, I do think so."

"He called me a spoiled brat today, Daniel!"

Daniel put his hands on his hips. "He's entitled to his opinion," he said.

"What's that mean?! Do you think I'm a brat, too?!"

"Well, your attitude leaves alot to be desired, that's for sure."

I wished I wasn't too old to stamp my foot like a little kid. Because that's what I

would have done right then.

"You're making me mad, Daniel!"

"Go on and get mad. "

"You're being mean! Out and out mean!"

"I'm not being mean. I could get a hairbrush and take you out behind the barn, and show

you how mean I CAN be."

I studied him, trying to determine if he was serious.

"I'm sorry, Daniel," I said quietly. "It's just that I'm so tired, and so frustrated! I just

wish I had a re-do of the other day. I'd never go with Allison!"

"I understand that. But that's no reason you have to take out your moods on Evan. You

hurt his feelings when you do that."

I stared at Daniel, aghast. "Hurt his feelings!"

"Yeah. Hurt his feelings."

"I do not, that's crazy, Daniel. I couldn't hurt Evan's feelings."

"Sure, you can. And you do, alot of the time. He just doesn't show it like the rest

of us."

I could tell Daniel really believed what he was saying, and I was too tired to argue

any more. I shrugged. "Okay."

"You need to be nicer to him."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

"Fine," he mimicked me. "Go on in the house now, before Crane comes searching."

"After I feed Petra her apples."

"You've done enough with those darn apples. Go in the house."

7

The next morning I got up in time to eat breakfast with the family. A fact which Brian, Daniel

and Ford made much of.

First Brian staggered, clutching his chest, pretending he was having a heart attack in shock.

Daniel bowed from the waist, announcing that the queen had risen from her bed before noon.

Ford kept looking at the kitchen clock, then at me; kitchen clock, then back at me, over and

over.

I tried to remain all haughty, but I couldn't help giggling.

I punched Brian's arm first, then Daniel, then Ford.

"Ha, ha," I said. "The Three Stooges."

"I must be Larry then," Daniel said, running a hand over his head. "He has a beautiful

head of hair, just like me."

"That makes me Moe," Brian said.

"I was thinking you were more Curly," Daniel said. "It looks to me like you're starting to

lose your hair a little bit there, big brother."

"I've got more hair than I've ever had," Brian countered.

"Ok, if you say so," Daniel said, and then he and Ford went up behind Brian, reaching up

to move his hair back and forth.

"What do you think, Ford?" Daniel asked.

"Right there, right there," Ford pointed. "That's where it's nearly bald."

Brian slapped their hands away. "I'd stop right now, boys, if I was you."

Daniel turned to Ford. "You know, Ford," he said casually, "when I was in the drugstore

the other day, it seemed to me that there were an awful lot of hair care products."

"Is that right?" Ford said, playing along with the joke.

"Yeah. You know, for this sort of problem," Daniel said, pointing at Brian's dark head.

"Some of that stuff would be handy to have, alright," Ford agreed. "You know, if a person

was to NEED it."

Evan and Crane were laughing now, too.

Brian reached out and took the platter of bacon in the center of the table, picking it up.

"I reckon as I'll be distributing the bacon this morning," he said, and Daniel and Ford groaned.

"How many pieces you want, Ev?" he asked Evan.

"I'll take three."

"How about you, Crane?" Brian asked, heading around the table to Crane's spot.

"Oh, I'll take four."

Brian forked those onto Crane's plate.

"Harlie?" he asked me.

I giggled. "Two."

Brian took the remainder of the bacon on the platter and dumped it all onto his own plate.

"I'm just joking, Bri," Ford said. He went to bend on one knee beside Brian's chair.

"I humbly apologize," he said to Brian.

"Suck up," Daniel jeered.

"Please return my share of the bacon," Ford lamanted, and I thought Crane was going

to choke, he was laughing so hard.

Brian looked as if he were considering Ford's request. "I'm waiting," he said.

"Your hair is thicker by far than Daniel's," Ford said, straight-faced. "It's a beautiful head of

hair, Brian."

Brian forked some bacon onto the platter and handed it to Ford.

"Enjoy," he said.


	6. Baking Cookies

As we were eating breakfast, they all started talking about Evan's rodeo that weekend. He was going to

leave that afternoon, and drive to Modesta with two friends of his from the area, where they'd stay

the night and then compete tomorrow.

"I figured I'd go along with," Daniel said. "Show family support and all for Eva-lynn here."

Evan usually goes crazy when Daniel calls him that, but now he just grinned, looking happy that

Daniel was going to be there to see him compete.

"That okay?" Daniel asked Brian.

With Adam and Guthrie gone, and Evan gone until late tomorrow, and somebody having to do

my chores, if Daniel was gone too, that left alot of chores for just Brian and Ford.

"Yeah, it's fine," Brian said. "We can manage until tomorrow. It's good Evan'll have somebody

there for him."

"But I've got you two until this afternoon, so let's get moving," Brian told Evan and Daniel. "I want

to go all around the south corner. Couple places need patched up there."

"I need to run up to Jimmy's," Evan said.

Jimmy, being Jimmy Thompson, a friend of Evan's, whose family lives on up from us.

"What for?"

"He's still got my roping saddle that I let him borrow last week."

"Short notice to be worrying about it," Brian said. "I'd tell you to use mine, but you won't, will you?"

"Nope," Evan said. Evan worked all one summer for a neighbor when he was 14 and used

everything he made to buy his saddle, and he says it brings him luck.

"Well, all right, then," Brian said. "Go on and get it."

Daniel stood up and scooted his chair in, and so did Ford.

"Evan's nervous, aren't you, Ev?" Daniel said. "Might not be safe for him to drive. Maybe I

oughta drive him up there."

Brian's eyes narrowed. "Is that right?"

"Yeah," said Ford. "And Daniel might have forgotten the way. Maybe I oughta go, too."

"It takes three of you to drive up there, huh?"

They were all snickering now, and Brian waved a hand at them.

"Alright, you clowns. Go on, but don't be gone all morning. Just meet me up at the south

corner when you're done."

"You want to ride along, squirt?" Daniel asked me.

Before I could even answer, both Brian and Crane spoke at the same time. "NO!"

"No way is she going to ride up that rocky road, and shake her back up," Crane said.

I wouldn't have minded getting out of the house, but I was okay with not going, too.

I decided to take a stand. "Brian, take Crane with you up to the south corner this morning."

Crane and Brian both looked at me in surprise.

"Well," I said, to Brian. "You need help, don't you? Crane can go with you. I'll

be fine. "

"Oh, I don't know-" Crane started.

"Brian, tell him I don't need a babysitter for a few hours. Tell him you need his help."

"Well," Brian said slowly, "I DO need his help. But I don't know about you not needing

a babysitter."

"Come on, Bri!"

I looked at Daniel for help. He winked at me. "You know, Crane, I heard they were looking

for a nurse at the prison in San Quentin. I bet you could get the job, hands down. Kind

of combine the whole nurse/warden thing."

Crane had Daniel in a headlock before anybody even saw him move.

"You know," he said, not even acting like he was winded by holding onto Daniel. "I'm getting

a little bit tired of the disrespect I've been getting from you babies."

Daniel was laughing, and struggling. "Okay, okay!"

Crane let him go, and straightened up to his full height. "You'll stay in the house?" he asked me.

"Yes, I promise."

"And don't do anything you're not supposed to."

"No. I won't reshingle the roof, or repaint the ceilings."

"Alright, funny girl." He gave me a gimlet-eyed look, and muttered something about how

the inmates at San Quentin would probably be better behaved, and more respectful than

all of us kids.

Daniel winked at me again, and I gave him a thumbs up sign.

7

When they'd all gone, and I had the house to myself, I got a Coke out of the secret stash beside

the washing machine. I don't know why Hannah calls it the secret stash, because we all know

it's there.

I got out my homework and spread it over the kitchen table. I started thinking about what

Daniel had said about how I hurt Evan's feelings. I'm able to admit that I'm prickly and sometimes

rude with Evan, but he's no angel himself. He can be prickly and rude, too. But he could be nice, too,

sometimes. He lets me drive when we're out together, and he'd stood up to Charles for me about

that stupid calendar.

I decided to make some cookies, and send them with him on his way to Modesto this afternoon.

Oatmeal raisin are Evan's favorite, so I searched thru the kitchen cabinets and the pantry for

the ingredients I'd need. Hannah's good about keeping food stuff stocked up, so we had

everything I needed except stick butter, and I figured regular butter would work just as well.

Stirring the dough hurt my back a little, but I managed to do it. I got the first batch in the oven, and

sat down at the table to do my homework.

They came out looking and smelling great. I nibbled on one, thinking I must be getting my

appetite back a little. I let them cool, and then wrapped eight of them up in foil and went to the

living room, where Evan had left his duffel bag, already packed with clothes.

I put the foil wrapped package on the bottom of the bag, under Evan's dress shirt. After

I put more cookies in the oven, I thought maybe I should put a note in with the cookies.

I sat back down at the table, collecting my thoughts, and started writing.

Dear Evan,

I erased the Dear. Evan would never let me hear the end of that.

Evan,

I hope you like the cookies. You can share with Daniel and Jake and Tim if  
you want to.  
Daniel says I hurt your feelings sometimes. I don't mean to. I guess I  
just like arguing with you.  
I know you'll do great tomorrow.  
I'm sorry about the rotten apple. I won't do that anymore, (unless it's my  
birthday or something, ha)  
Harlie

I read it over with a critical eye. It was nice, but not too sappy. I went to put it around the

cookies in the bag. I was back in the kitchen doing English when I heard pounding on the front

door. Not knocking. Pounding. I went slowly to the living room, and peeked out thru

the window. There was a white car parked in the driveway, the front fender smashed in.

More pounding. I twisted to get a look by the door.

When I saw that it was Allison's boyfriend, Todd Roy, I let the curtain drop. I wondered

what he wanted. I hardly knew him. I'd met him a couple of times when he came to school

to pick Allison up, but I'd never really talked to him.

He dropped out of school a couple of years before, doesn't have a job, and it's a known fact

that he smokes weed. And a lot of it.

I tried to make a quick decision. I thought I'd see what he wanted, and then send him

on his way.

I opened the door slowly, and stood in the doorway.

"What do you want, Todd?" I asked.

"I want to talk to you," he said. "How come you won't go along with Allison's bambi

story? Her old man's giving her grief."

"That's not my fault."

"All you gotta do is say there was a deer. No big deal."

When I didn't answer, he said, "Why won't you help Allie? She'd do it for you."

"You need to go," I told him.

Todd stepped closer to me. He kind of leaned around me to look into the

living room. "Where is everybody?" He gave me a smile I didn't care for. "You all

alone?"

I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I took a step back.

"No, Crane's in the kitchen, and Ford and Brian are in the barn."

"Harlie, Harlie, Harlie. I don't think there's anybody here at all."

"I want you to go. Now."

Todd stepped directly in front of me, and laid his hand on my arm, rubbing

it up and down. I could smell the marijuana on him. He positively reeked of it.

"You know," he said, leaning his head close, "I've always thought you were

a hottie. Makes Allie mad as hell when I say it, too."

I was surprised by that, and since I didn't know what to say, I said nothing. I took

a step back, preparing to go in and slam the door.

Todd closed the space between us again.

"Why can't you just be nice? Say there was a deer."

I glared at him, and he squeezed my wrist. I tried to jerk away, but he tightened

his hold, putting his other hand on my shoulder. "Don't mess with me. "

My temper overrode my common sense and I slapped his hand off my shoulder and gave him

a shove.

I twisted to go inside, but he caught my arm again. "Listen, you little bitch, you don't want to

make me mad!" I wished that my brothers hadn't taken Gus with them. Good old Gus, he

would have taken care of Todd.

One minute we were struggling, and the next Todd was being plucked off of me, and

was facedown in the dirt in front of the porch steps, Evan on top of him. Evan was landing blows

all over Todd's face, and then yanking him to his feet. I hadn't even seen Ford yet, but there he was,

leaping onto Todd's back.

"Get off of him, Ford!" Evan was yelling.

Ford either didn't hear, or didn't care, because he stayed where he was, while Todd tried to

shake him off his back. I saw Todd manage one blow to Evan's nose, but other than that, he

had no chance, because everytime he twisted to try to shake Ford off, Evan would punch him again.

Evan was still yelling at Ford to get off, and Todd managed to reach back and grab a handful of

Ford's shirt, yanking on it. With another punch from Evan, Todd went to the ground, and Ford

leaped up, standing beside Evan.

I was standing on the stairs, horrified by what was happening, yet unable to look away. I had

a hysterical urge to giggle, thinking Ford looked like he was at a rodeo, the way he'd been

hanging on Todd.

Todd's mouth was bleeding and he had a cut over one eye. He got up and nearly ran

to his car.

"Don't ever come back here!" Evan yelled at him.

"Never talk to Harlie again!" Ford hollared.

Todd peeled out of the driveway, throwing gravel, and we watched as he veered off the

driveway, his car going into the field and then back onto the road.

Evan and Ford both came up onto the porch, and Ford took my arm.

"Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm okay." I said, but I was shaking.

Evan came closer. "What's he doing here?"

"He wanted me to go along with Allison about the deer in the road."

"Did he threaten you?" Evan asked, looking furious.

"Your nose is bleeding," I told him.

"Never mind that! Did he threaten you?!"

"He said not to mess with him. He called me a bitch-"

Ford saw me shaking and put his arm around my shoulder. "It's okay now, Harlie."

"Where did you guys come from?" I asked them.

"We came down the back to get some more wire for Brian," Ford told me.

"I'm sure glad you did," I said. I looked again at Evan, his nose dripping blood, and Ford's

shirt, one sleeve ripped open. "Your nose is bleeding," I said again to Evan.

"It's fine."

Then-we smelled the smoke.

"Something's on fire!" Ford yelled.

"It's the cookies!" I told them, and we ran into the house.

Smoke had gone from the kitchen and was filling the living room. When we got to the

kitchen, Ford opened the back door and the windows. I turned the oven off while Evan

went back to the living room, opening windows in there, too.

Ford took a hot pad and opened the oven, waving the smoke away, and pulling

out the two cookie sheets, and the charred remains that were on them.

He set the cookie sheets outside, and then we tried waving the the smoke out of the

kitchen.

"Those are Hannah's new cookie sheets," I said, looking at them smoldering out the

back door.

When I thought things couldn't get any worse, we heard the Jeep's engine. I looked

at the boys in horror. "No way to hide this, huh?" I said.

"Nope," Evan said.

Brian and Crane and Daniel came rushing into the house followed by a barking Gus,

yelling for me, and when they burst into the kitchen, Crane looked frantic.

"You guys okay?" he asked.

Ford and I nodded, and Evan said, "Yeah."

"We were heading back up there with the wire," Ford said casually, his torn shirt hanging

from his arm.

"Yeah. We were just heading that way," Evan said, swiping at his bloody nose.

Brian made what looked like a leisurely stroll thru the kitchen, looking things over.

"We thought we'd stop for lunch," he said.

Crane pushed at a charred cookie that had fallen on the floor with the toe of his boot, and waved at the

smoke. "I knew I should have stayed home," he said.

"So," Brian said, as casually as if he were inquiring about the price of a horse. "what's the story?"

I looked at Evan, and he looked at Ford, and Ford looked at me.

"It looks like there'd be a story, doesn't it?" I said lightly.

"Considering that the house is full of smoke, Ford's shirt is hanging off his back, and Evan's

dripping blood all over the floor, then, yeah, it seems like there'd be a story," Brian said.

If you like, please leave a review, and thanks!


	7. Making peace

We told Brian and Crane what happened briefly, and both Brian and Daniel looked angry.

Brian called Todd a few uncomplimentary names.

"You're okay?" Crane asked me, and Daniel came over to me, putting his arm

around my shoulder.

"I'm okay," I assured them.

"You're shaking," Daniel said, and he wrapped his other arm around me. I had to admit

it felt good right then to have all five of them there.

"I'm just glad the boys came along when they did," I said gratefully.

Crane took Evan's face in one hand. "A bloody nose? That's all?"

"That's all," Evan said.

"What about you?" Brian asked Ford.

"A torn shirt. That's it."

"Who is this clown? How old is he?" Brian asked.

"I think he's nineteen or twenty," I said, looking at Evan and Ford for confirmation.

Brian and Crane exchanged a look, and Brian said, "Evan, you better get cleaned up before

the guys get here."

"I'll throw some lunch together," Crane said.

Evan headed upstairs and Brian told Ford and I to try to clear some more

smoke out. Daniel went to help Crane, and Brian stretched out on the couch.

"I'd like a nice quiet day for once," he said wearily.

77777777777777777

After lunch, Evan was waiting on the porch for his ride, and I went out to lean opposite

of him.

"Are you nervous?" I asked him.

"No. I will be, right before my events, but not yet."

"Thank you. For Todd. You know."

"It's okay."

"I'm sure glad you guys came home."

"I am, too."

"It was scary," I said quietly.

Evan gave me a long look. "Yeah. I don't think he'll try anything like that again."

I was surprised in a way that Evan hadn't told me off for opening the door

to Todd.

"If Ford hadn't gotten in my way, I could have really cleaned his clock," Evan

said, with a grin.

I smiled, too.

"Don't tell Ford I said that. I wouldn't want him to feel bad about his contribution."

I giggled a little. Evan looked down the driveway, where Tim Frank's big red truck

was pulling in, pulling a trailer.

Evan hollared in the door. "Daniel! Let's go!"

"Hey, I put something in your bag," I said, pointing to the duffel bag over Evan's

shoulder.

Evan groaned. "A prank, Harlie? Today? I don't need this today."

"No, not a prank! It's nothing bad. It's a sort of surprise."

"Oh. Okay," Evan said, looking puzzled.

Daniel came out, carrying his own bag.

Crane and Brian came out to say hello to Tim. Evan loaded his horse

into the trailer with Tim's horse. After everybody had talked for a few minutes,

Brian caught Evan around the neck.

"Good luck, and do good. Don't embarrass me," Brian told him.

"I'll try not to," Evan grinned.

Watching them drive down the road, I thought, 'first we were nine, then six, now four."

I looked at Brian and Crane. "It's going to be really quiet around here," I said.

"That's fine with me," Brian said.

7

I spent the evening curled up beside Crane, working on my Thomas Jefferson report.

Ford announced he was going to see Cleo.

"That OK?" he asked Brian.

Adam doesn't like Ford or Guthrie to go out on school nights, so I

waited to see what Brian said. Brian waved a hand at Ford.

"Go ahead on," he said. "Be home before midnight."

Ford said he would be, and then he was gone, too.

Crane and Brian were both reading, and it was so quiet, I wasn't sure I liked

it at all.

I wiggled my way under Crane's arm, pressing myself against his side.

"Report done?" he asked me.

"Uh huh."

I was nearly asleep when Crane gave me a gentle push.

"Go on up to bed, peanut."

"I'm comfortable right here. You make a good pillow. For such a skinny guy, you're pretty

soft."

" Such flattery. You're gonna make my head swell."

7+7+7+7+7+7+7

When I went downstairs the next morning nobody was around. I got a bowl

of cereal, and some coffee, and went into the living room. I turned on the TV, but there

wasn't a lot on to watch. I sighed, and started on my homework.

I was getting really tired of staying home, and not being able to do

anything. I actually missed school. I kept breaking my pencil and resharpening

until I finally threw it against the wall. I stalked into the kitchen and drank

another cup of coffee.

I heard Crane outside talking to Gus. "You're a good boy, yes, Gussie's a good boy."

When Crane came in, he said, "Morning, peanut."

"Hey."

"Did you eat?"

"Yeah."

"Take your medicine?"

"No. I was thinking I'd try to taper off of it."

Crane looked at me doubtfully.

"Why is that?"

"Well, I won't be able to take it when I go back to school."

"Right. But that's not for another week, at least."

I shrugged. "It's not hurting that much at all right now. I just don't

think I need it."

Crane sighed. "The reason it's not hurting right now is because I woke

you up at two this morning to give you a pill. Remember?"

"I know," I said, but added stubbornly, "But I still think I can space

them out more."

Crane still looked skeptical.

"I want to try," I insisted.

"Alright," he said quietly.

I got another cup of coffee and went to the living room to finish

my homework. After awhile I was feeling the pinch in my

back. I stood up, and stretched. Ow, that hurt!

I tried to pick a name from the list of Presidents. They all seemed to run

together in front of my eyes. Millard Fillmore. What kind of

name was that?

I stomped back to the kitchen, intent on more coffee.

"Hey," Crane said, from his spot at the sink. "No more coffee."

"Why not?" I asked crossly.

"Because I said so."

I huffed and went to the refrigerator, taking out the orange juice. I went

to get a glass out of the cabinet.

After I poured some juice, I went back to the living room. I did NOT want

to do another report. I was seriously considering just walking out

the door, and going to see Petra in the field, when Crane

called, "Harlie, come back in here and put the juice away."

I muttered under my breath and went back to the kitchen. I yanked

the door of the old Fridgadaire open, and shoved the juice back in.

When I slammed the door shut, it wouldn't close. I shoved some stuff around

and slammed it again. It still wouldn't close.

"Gaaahhh!" I yelled, frustrated.

Crane leaned against the sink, drying his hands, and watching me.

"Stupid damn door!" I swore.

Crane came over and opened the door wide, adjusting the shelf I'd knocked

crooked. When he shut the door, it closed perfectly.

Then he stood there looking at me, his hands on his hips.

"So, you're going to tell me not to swear, right?" I preempted him.

Instead of scolding me, he said, "What's the matter with you this morning?"

"I'm tired of this! I can't do anything! And when I try to do something, it just

hurts! It's been four days since I brushed my hair, cause it HURTS!"

"It's going to take time to feel better, Harlie."

"And, I'm sick and tired of these stupid reports every day! Writing about people

I don't want to know anything about! It's the worst punishment ever, Crane!"

I was breathing hard. I was mad and frustrated at the situation.

Crane surveyed me quietly, waiting until I was done with my tirade.

"I thought we agreed there'd be no complaints about the reports." There was a

warning note in his voice, if I'd taken care to listen to it.

I chose not to listen. "Well, I'm complaining! I don't want to do them anymore! Why

don't you just whack me like Brian did! Then I wouldn't have to write about idiotic

Millard Fillmore!"

Crane looked at me like he was disappointed. He looked a little mad, too. At least

he looked deadly serious, which for Crane is pretty much the same thing as looking

mad.

"Go get your paper and encyclopedia," he said curtly.

I sighed and went to the living room, gathering up paper and pencils, and went

to the bookshelf, looking for volume F. Tears were swimming in my eyes, making it

hard to find it.

I trudged back to the kitchen. Crane was sitting at the table, and he pointed

to the chair beside him. "Sit," he said.

When I did, he took the encyclopedia, flipping thru until he found Millard Fillmore.

He laid it open in front of me.

"Look at me," he said, and I did. All the fight had gone out of me.

"Whether you're fed up with doing these isn't going to figure into it, Harlie. That's

the punishment, and you're going to do them, until you go back to school,

just like we told you. Understood?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"What did I say about complaining about them?"

"Another thousand words," I managed.

"Right." He tapped the paper. "Get busy," he said, standing up.

I started crying for real then, sniffing and swiping at my cheeks while I

tried to write. After a few minutes, Crane set a box of Kleenex on the table

in front of me. "Knock it off," he said, and after that I tried to cry quietly.

I wrote and wrote. I didn't know where Crane had gone, but I finally got up,

trying to stretch. I lugged everything into the living room, and sat down on the

floor, leaning with my back against the couch, hoping a change of position would

help.

Crane came in after awhile, and I looked up at him miserably.

"I'm sorry, Crane. I guess I'm acting like a brat."

"Yeah. You are," he said, but he looked at me kindly. "Ready to take

some medicine now?"

I didn't care right then if I was being weak. I nodded. "Yeah."

Crane went to the kitchen, returning with a pill and milk. When I'd swallowed it,

he held out a hand to pull me up.

I looked at him, puzzled.

"Come on."

I took his hand, and when I was standing beside him, he ushered me towards the

couch. "Take a nap," he said.

"I still have a lot of writing to do," I protested, though the thought of a nap sounded

darn appealing.

"It'll still be there when you get up," he said, covering me with a blanket.

7\seven

When I woke up, I stretched carefully. I felt better. It was quiet and I looked

around the room. Brian was sitting in the chair across from me, writing out checks.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey. You snore, you know that?"

"Says the guy who sounds like a sawmill when he's sleeping."

"Hmm."

"Where's Crane?"

"He went to the store to get groceries for Hannah's Around the World thing. Why,

you need something?"

"No. I just wondered where he was."

I stretched again, peeling off my blanket.

"He probably needed to get away, for a break," I said.

"Why's that?"

"I gave him a hard time," I sighed.

Brian didn't say anything to that, and I laid still, looking around. I saw a

really big spider web in one corner of the ceiling.

"Bri? There's a giant spider web up there," I said, and pointed.

Brian looked. "There sure is."

"Hannah will flip."

"Well, we'll do a clean up around here tonight."

"Evan and Daniel will be home, right?"

"Yep."

I sat up, intent on getting my report done. I wanted to spend time with Daniel

that night.

"Brian?"

"What?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"What?"

"You know the day of the accident? I thought I'd covered my arms and face

good enough."

"You covered them enough."

"Then how did you know? That something was wrong, I mean."

"I've had a lot of practice being an older brother, peach."

"Oh."

"I see all, hear all, and know all. Don't forget it."

I smiled at him a little. "OK."

It was later when I realized that Brian hadn't answered my question. I still

didn't know how he'd known something was wrong.

7:7:7:7:7:7:7

When Daniel and Evan got home, Tim was asked to stay to eat. Supper was rowdy,

loud and fun. Evan and Tim had both done well, placing second in their team roping,

and Evan placed third in his bareback riding.

"They were ON it," Daniel said proudly.

"So you didn't embarrass me then?" Brian said.

"I guess not," Evan grinned.

When Tim was getting ready to leave, he nodded toward my pajamas

with a grin. "Nice outfit," he said.

"Thank you," I said, unperturbed.

Tim's been Evan's friend a long time, and he was like part of the family. I

knew my pajamas were perfectly modest. Now, if I'd been wearing one

of my shorty baby doll PJs, then I might have been embarrassed.

Daniel slung an arm around my shoulder. "That's all the clothes the poor

kid has," he told Tim.

"Yeah," Brian said dryly. "We keep her in rags, and barefoot."

After Tim was gone, Brian and Crane started handing out chores. I was

drying dishes with Ford when Daniel came thru to get the broom.

"Cobweb duty," he said.

"Don't be afraid, Daniel," I said, patting him on the shoulder. "They can sense

your fear."

"Ha!" Daniel said, jabbing the broom into the air like it was a sword. "I laugh in the

face of spiders."

"They laugh at the face of Daniel, too, I bet," Ford snickered.

"Keep it up, little brother," Daniel warned him.

"Hey," Daniel said quietly, to me on his way past, "That was a nice thing you did for

Evan, with the cookies. I'm proud of you, squirt."

"Did he like them?"

"He sure did. He hardly shared with the rest of us."

Later, while I was coming down with dirty laundry and Evan was going up

with clean laundry, we passed each other on the stairs.

"Hey," he said. "Thanks a lot for the cookies. They were real good."

Evan was smiling and he looked really appreciative. I felt kind of bad

that something so simple on my part meant so much to Evan.

"You're welcome. At least they weren't burned to a crisp like the others."

"The note was nice, too," he said.

"So, can we call truce again?" I asked.

"We can. I'm tired of fighting with you. It gets old, Harlie."

"I'm sorry, Evan. I haven't been very nice lately."

"We can both try harder," he said, and he took the top towel off his pile,

tossing it over my head, before he continued upstairs.

7

The missing three links of our family chain would be home the next day,

and I was glad. I missed Guthrie so much that I ached from it. I wanted to

see Hannah's sweet smile, and I wished for a strong hug from Adam. But I was

nervous, too. I absolutely hate it when Adam lectures me, and I figured as I was in

for a whopper of a lecture.

When the house was clean, and the laundry done, all five guys collapsed

into chairs and onto couches in the living room. I came through carrying a vase

of lilacs I'd picked.

I set the vase on the coffee table, and surveyed them all.

"A man's work is done when down goes the sun; but woman's work is never

done." I quoted.

"I'm beat," Daniel said.

I tapped Daniel's foot with my own. "Housework too tough for you?"

"Get lost, squirt," Daniel said, opening one closed eye to look up at me.

"I'm going," I told him. "I'm going up to bed." I stopped at the foot of

the stairs amid them all telling me good night.

Daniel was sitting up straight now, picking up his guitar.

"Hey, Daniel? Sing me to sleep," I said.

"You insult me, and then expect me to use my golden vocal chords to

lull you to sleep? Why should I?"

"That's okay. Ford will, won't you, Ford?" I said, knowing that would reel Daniel in.

"Go on," Daniel waved a hand at me. "I'll consider it."

Daniel can never pass up an opportunity to sing. He's a born ham. I smiled

as I went upstairs.

By the time I was under my blankets, I could hear Daniel, with Ford joining in, singing

my favorite John Denver song.

'He was born in the summer of his 27th year,

Coming home to a place he'd never been before

He left yesterday behind him,

You might say he was born again,

Might say he found a key to every door.'

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	8. A little sugar goes a long way

At breakfast the next morning, Ford was trying to convince Brian and Crane to let him skip school

so he could be home when Hannah and Adam got there.

Brian looked at Crane. "What do you think?" he asked.

"I think it's okay," Crane said. "He's probably way ahead anyway. Right, Ford?"

At Ford's nod, Crane said, "Our Ford's not a slacker."

Daniel caught Ford around the neck. "He takes after me."

"It sure will be good to have Hannah back in the kitchen," Ford commented thoughtlessly, and was immediately faced

with glares from both Brian and Crane.

"Well," Ford faltered, "you know what I mean."

"No, Ford," Crane said, "exactly what do you mean?"

Daniel and Evan collapsed into laughter.

"I'm not saying you guys' cooking isn't fine," Ford hastened to explain. "It's just, you know, Hannah's

cooking, well, it's just darn good."

"Hannah says we're doing Around the World tonight," I spoke up to help Ford. It was like

watching a goldfish flopping around outside of its' fishbowl, seeing Ford stammer around

that way.

"Wow, that sounds great," Ford said enthusiastically, shooting me a grateful look. "Doesn't that

sound great, Daniel?"

Daniel stopped laughing long enough to say, "Oh yeah, it sounds great, really great."

"So what time will they be home?" Ford asked, to change the subject.

"Supposed to be around one or so," Brian said.

I got up and started clearing the table, and then I went to sit at the desk to work on my daily report.

After awhile I felt a hand on the back of my neck.

"You okay?" Brian asked.

"Yeah."

"Getting a jump on it, huh?"

"I want to spend time with Guthrie, so I thought I'd get it done now."

"Good idea."

He rubbed my neck. "You're quiet this morning," he observed.

I looked up at him and gave him a little shrug.

"Adam's not going to ream you," Brian said. "If that's what's worrying you."

He'd read my worried thoughts exactly.

"How do you know?" I asked hopefully.

"Because I know."

I looked at him quizzically.

"Because," he said. "I told him not to."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"How come?" I asked curiously.

"Because Crane and I took care of it already."

I stood up and hugged Brian hard. "Thank you."

"That doesn't mean he won't growl a little bit," Brian cautioned.

"I'll take a growl over a reaming any day. Thanks, Bri."

He patted my back. "You're welcome, peach."

7

A couple hours later there was such a commotion coming from the kitchen that it drew both me and Ford from what we were doing.

"What's going on?" Ford asked me, coming from upstairs.

I stood up from the desk, stretching my back.

"I don't know," I said, and we both went to the doorway of the kitchen, to find Brian, Daniel, Evan

and Crane all crowded around one area of kitchen cabinets. Brian and Daniel were wearing aprons

over their jeans, and as if that wasn't funny enough, their bickering was so entertaining that Ford and I found

places at the table so we could watch.

What Ford and I determined was that they were working on food for the Around the World supper, and the

argument was over German potato salad.

Daniel wanted to add more sugar to it, and Crane said it was fine the way it was.

"It needs more sugar," Daniel insisted.

"It's not a dessert, Danny," Crane told him.

Daniel put some on a spoon and aimed it at Brian's face. "Try it, Bri."

Brian took the spoon from Daniel. "I can feed myself," he said, and after he'd tried it, he took

a big drink of water, and weighed in. "Needs more sugar," he said, and Daniel grinned

triumphantly at Crane.

"Let me try it," Evan said, crowding in. He scooped a spoonful out and tasted it, while the

other three watched him expectantly.

"It's good. It doesn't need more sugar."

Daniel groaned. "We need a tiebreaker."

"We'll let Hannah decide," Crane said.

Daniel's eyes lit on Ford and I.

"Not me," I said, holding up a hand to ward him off.

"Okay, Ford, come on," Daniel coaxed. "We need your help."

"How is it going to help when two of you get ticked off at me?" Ford protested.

"We'll take your word as final," Crane told him.

"Okay, fine," Ford said, and went over to the cluster of brothers. He took a bite of the

potato salad, and then said slowly, "Definitely-needs more sugar."

Daniel and Brian grinned, Crane and Evan groaned, and I shook my head. What a bunch of clowns.

7

I took a shower and for the first time in a week, I put on something besides pajamas. I took

a denim skirt and yellow blouse out of my closet, put on some earrings, and slipped on my boots.

My hair was still too much for me. I sighed and shoved it back up again in a knot at the base of my neck. When

I went downstairs I sat down at the piano, plinking at the keys.

I heard boots stomping and turned to watch as Brian, Ford, Evan and Daniel came in.

"No sign of them yet?" I asked.

None of them answered me, though, because they were all four standing in a neat row, staring at

me.

"What's wrong with you guys?" I asked.

"Who is this beauty?" Daniel asked Ford.

"I don't recognize her," Ford said, playing along.

"I don't either," Brian said, coming over to stand beside the piano bench. "But she's

stunning, just stunning."

"Maybe she wandered into the house by mistake," Daniel said, rubbing his fingers over

my blouse. "Must be lost."

"Must be," Brian agreed solemnly. "The girl I know that lives here only wears pajamas."

"Come on, fellas. Knock it off," I protested.

"It sounds like Harlie," Ford said, peering into my face. "It kind of looks like Harlie, too."

"Can't be," Evan jumped in. "Harlie only owns pajamas. There's the horse pajamas, and the

rainbow pajamas, and the Smurf pajamas."

"You're forgetting the checkered ones," Ford said. "The ones that look like a tablecloth."

"Alright," I said, letting the lid of the piano slam down. "You've had your fun. I get it. I go

around looking like a homeless person."

Brian laughed. "Now, don't get all het up," he told me. "It's not that you ever look bad, it's

just that right now you look so GOOD."

"Yeah," Daniel said, tugging on one of my escaped curls. "We haven't seen you in anything

else in a week. You should have given us a little advance warning, or something, prepared us

a little-"

"Fine," I said, slapping his hand away. "Next time I'll hang a sign out front of the house."

I stomped off to the kitchen, with the sounds of them all laughing as they followed behind me.

Crane raised his eyebrows. "You look nice," he said.

"Thank you. Crane. You're a gentleman," I said, and stuck my tongue out at the other four.

7

I was sitting on the porch when I saw them pulling into the driveway, and I

called inside, "They're here!"

I thought I might grab Guthrie and never let go.

Adam and Guthrie got out slowly, both of them stretching. Hannah's compact

little Gremlin isn't conducive to long legged guys.

Evan and Ford tackled Guthrie. I might have joined in if it hadn't been for my

back. Hannah was hugging Crane and teasing Daniel, and then she reached out

and pulled me to her, tightly.

"Oh, Harlie!" she said. She pushed me back then, looking me over closely.

"You're feeling alright?"

"Yes. Almost completely healed."

"Hmm. I'll determine that for myself, thank you."

Guthrie was on his feet again, and we stood there, grinning at each other

like idiots.

"Hey, hyena," he said. Guthrie says when I laugh I sound like a hyena, and I

tell him his ears are big enough to belong to an elephant. But it's always in fun,

and never mean-spirited.

"Hey, elephant ears."

Guthrie grabbed me and swung me off my feet. It hurt a little when he squeezed

so hard, but I wasn't going to complain.

"I kinda missed you," he said.

"I kinda missed you, too," I told him.

Adam and Brian were standing to one side, talking, when the group started walking towards

the house. Daniel was telling Hannah about the German potato salad debate, and she

was laughing.

Brian caught up with everybody, and Adam and I stood there for a minute, looking at

each other. He held out his arms and I ran to him.

"You scared me, sugar," he said, against my ear.

"I'm sorry." I raised my head to look up at him. "I really am truly sorry."

"I know you are," he said, seriously.

Everybody was yelling for us to come inside, and Adam said, "We'll talk later."

7

Supper was such fun. Every chair was full again, and everybody was talking all

at once. I ate more than I'd eaten all week. The fetachini was really good, but

I passed on the highly debated German potato salad.

"The house looks great," Hannah said. "Who do I have to think for that?"

Brian waved his hands across the table. "See these? Dishpan hands!"

"Poor Brian," Hannah sympathized.

"And the laundry's done, too," she said in satisfaction.

"That's Crane," Daniel said. "You know Mr. Clean."

"Be glad I am," Crane said, "or you wouldn't have had clean jeans this week."

Hannah turned serious. "Well, I want to thank you, Crane, not just for the laundry,

but for taking such good care of our girl." Hannah looked like she was going to

cry, and several pairs of eyes landed on me. I sighed, not wanting to be the center of

attention.

"Yep, Crane's a great nurse," Evan said.

"Have you noticed how sharp he looks in white?" Ford said, and whistled.

Crane just rolled his eyes at the teasing, but I felt suddenly irritated by it.

"I don't think you should talk like that about Crane. He really DID take good care

of me," I protested.

Everybody really looked at me then. Crane smiled at me, and I smiled back.

Hannah looked pleased by what I'd said, but it was Adam's smile that lit me up

inside.

Guthrie nudged me. "Come out on the porch," he told me.

We went out and sat down on the top step together.

"Did you have fun?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I met some nice guys. We played a lot of Pac-Man. I got pretty good

at it."

"That's good."

"We ate Japanese one night, did Hannah tell you?"

"No, you mean Adam really did eat it?"

"Yeah, he really did."

"Wow."

Guthrie reached under one of the seat cushions on a chair, and brought

out a small box. "Here, I got you something."

I took it from him. "What is it?"

"Open it, goofy, and find out."

I opened the box and there was purple tissue paper crumpled up inside. Purple's

my favorite color.

"It's kind of fragile," Guthrie said.

"Okay," I said, opening it carefully.

Inside the tissue paper there was a glass dolphin, such a light blue

that it was almost see-thru. I collect dolphins, and since my room is

so small, Adam and Brian built shelves that go around the ceiling, and

that's where I keep them.

I took the dolphin out, rubbing my thumb over the smooth

glass. "It's beautiful, Guth! I don't have any this color!"

"I saw it and I just thought you might like it."

"I love it, thank you so much." I gave him a quick hug.

"You're welcome."

"This must have taken all the money you had with you."

"Naw," he said, but I knew that it had.

After a couple minutes, he said, "You're really okay, right?"

"I'm okay."

"Did it hurt like hell?"

"The worst pain I've ever had."

"I guess you got pretty lucky, though. Could have been a lot worse."

"I know."

"Did Brian explode?"

"Boy, did he ever!"

"Listen, Har, don't get mad at me, alright? But I wish you'd quit doing this

kind of stuff. You're aging me before my time."

"I'm sorry I worried you," I said quietly.

"Yeah, well I won't get any dates with gray hair."

Guthrie was joking, but I knew he was serious underneath about worrying

about me.

"Did Evan and Ford really beat up Allison's boyfriend?"

"Yes, and you should have seen the way Ford was hanging on Todd's

back, like a monkey!" I giggled and Guthrie grinned.

"Todd won't be back around here, I'm sure," I added.

"Yeah, and then with Brian filing a sheriff's report on him, he'd be crazy

to try it."

I looked at Guthrie, surprised.

"What sheriff's report? I didn't know about that."

"I heard Adam telling Hannah that Brian was so mad he made a complaint

on Todd."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what I thought about that.

Guthrie read my thoughts. "Well, that's a good thing, right? I mean, you don't want him

thinking he can treat you that way."

"I guess."

The screen door opened and Crane stepped out. "You two monkeys come on in. We're

gonna have dessert."

I went upstairs to put my dolphin on my dresser, and then came back downstairs.

Everybody found a place to sit in the living room, to eat pie and ice cream.

I was squished between Ford and Guthrie, and after awhile Daniel got out his

guitar and Crane took out his banjo, and everybody was shouting out songs for

them to sing.

I looked up when Adam was standing in front of me, holding out his hand.

"Let's go for a walk, sugar," he said.

7

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	9. Heart to heart talks

I took Adam's hand and he pulled me to my feet.

"We'll be back in a bit," Adam told Hannah, and she smiled at both

of us.

We walked outside and down the porch steps, and Adam started walking down

our long driveway, still holding onto my hand.

Adam didn't say anything at first, and I began to wonder when he would.

I started to feel a little bit nervous again. Adam had seemed relaxed all evening, not

angry, but when I looked at his profile he looked real serious, like he was thinking hard

about something.

"Where are we going?" I asked him quietly.

"Just takin' a walk, that's all."

When we got to the end of the driveway, Adam stopped and let go of my hand,

leaning against one of the big boulders there.

I stood beside him for a minute. He looked in the sky, at the reddish-orange sun

that was beginning to set.

"Isn't that somethin' to see?" he said to me.

I nodded. "Beautiful."

Adam reached down and picked up a twig that had blown off a nearby tree.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a pocketknife, starting to shave the twig.

"I'm not going to say a whole lot to you about what happened, Harlie," he said,

and I let out a breath of relief that I hadn't known I was holding in.

"I know by now, you understand the seriousness of the whole thing. Right?"

"Yes. I do. I've done a lot of thinking lately, Adam. I'm going to smarten up. I just

want a chance to prove it to all of you."

"Okay. I'm not going to scold you any more than you have been already." He turned

to look at me. "I do want to tell you a story, though."

"Okay," I said, curious.

"It's kind of a long story. Can you hop up here, and sit?" He gestured to the

boulder.

I nodded, and Adam gave me a boost up, and then hoisted himself up to

sit beside me, still whittling the twig.

"You know that John and I have been friends a long time, right?"

I nodded, knowing he was talking about John Green, who's been around our house

as a friend of Adam's as long as I can remember.

John is a funny guy, given to teasing the boys and me, too, and he shoots hoops

with Evan and Ford whenever he comes over to eat with us. He usually manages to

beat the boys at playing horse, too, despite the fact that he's in a wheelchair.

"You've been friends since high school, right?" I said.

"Further back than that. More like fifth grade, when his folks moved here

from Colorado."

I waited, wondering where Adam was going with this conversation.

"We've had some real good times," Adam continued. "Got in our share of trouble,

too."

I'd heard stories of their escapades. "Like the time you told Brian to push Crane

out of the hay loft, so you and John could catch him in that big net," I said.

For a minute, Adam smiled. "Yeah. Those were good times, alright." He threw the twig to the ground

and put the pocketknife back in his jeans pocket.

He looked out over the mountains in the distance.

"John wasn't in that wheelchair then."

"He was in an accident later, right?"

"Yeah. A car accident. We were about Guthrie's age then."

There was another small silence.

"I was with John when he was in that accident," Adam said quietly.

I looked at him, stunned.

"You were?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah."

I wanted to ask questions, but I sensed that Adam was going to tell it at his own

pace. "There was another friend with us, too, Mitch Clark. We called ourselves The

Three Musketeers. Where one of us was, the other two were generally right beside.

Like with the net catching Crane, Mitch was there, too, holding the other corner."

Adam took a breath. "Mitch was driving that afternoon of the accident. He'd borrowed his daddy's

truck. We were going camping for the weekend. He was driving too fast. He

took a corner too quick, up at The Bend."

I waited in dread for what came next. I'd heard about all the accidents that have

happened on the hill outside of Murphys, known simply by locals as The Bend. I've

heard Adam caution all the boys and Hannah, too, about being safe there. I'd

always thought he was just being overly protective. Now I knew he had spoken

from painful personal experience.

"The truck rolled a bunch of times before it stopped. Mitch and I couldn't get

John out, so Mitch stayed there with him, and I hiked back to town. Actually, ran back to town

is what I did. I used the pay phone at the gas station, and I called Dad."

Here, Adam took another deep breath.

"What did Daddy say?" I asked, the word Daddy sounding foreign and strange, yet

precious to me, coming from my mouth.

"I was crying so hard he couldn't make heads or tails out of what I was

saying. He finally got the basics out of me, told me to wait there for him to

pick me up, and he called the ambulance and sheriff."

"We stood there and watched while they dug John out of that old truck. He was

screaming." Adam sighed deeply, painfully. "He just kept screaming."

I brought my knees up tight against my chest and rocked back and forth,

wishing I could cover my ears.

"They took us all to the hospital. Mitch had a sprained wrist, and I had cuts and

bruises. John had been in the hospital for over a month, when the doctors

said he was going to be paralyzed. Mitch and I kept hoping, and John's folks did, too,

but it just wasn't meant to be."

I swiped at tears on my face, watching Adam's face as he relived all that pain.

"Mitch and I would sit around talking about what we'd all do once John was

back to normal again. Making plans for all three of us. The day we found out for sure

John wasn't going to walk again, Mitch and I sat and cried together, up in our

hayloft. When he left that afternoon, he said he'd call me later."

Adam stared out at the sun, almost completely set now. He looked like

he was somewhere far away, lost in pain, and I saw the tears

in his eyes.

"Mitch went home and got his dad's gun, and went to the attic, and

shot himself in the head."

I covered my face with my hands, wanting to scream at Adam to be quiet,

not to talk any more, to just stop!

Adam turned to me, bringing himself back from that long ago dark place in his

memory. "The guilt he felt for being the driver was just too much for him. He blamed himself. He

just couldn't handle it."

"Oh, Adam!" I squeezed his arm.

" Yeah." He sighed, trying to bring his emotions under control.

"I'm sorry that happened to John," I said, "so very sorry."

"Well, he's made of something strong. He's made a life despite that damn wheelchair."

"I'm sorry that it happened to you, too."

Adam looked at me in surprise. "I made it out alright, Harlie."

"No, you didn't. Not really," I said, squeezing him harder. "You lost a good friend. And you watched

another one fight a battle that he's still fighting, every single day of his life, in that wheelchair. You weren't

ever the same boy again, after that day, were you?"

Adam stared at me for a long moment, and then he put his arm around my

shoulder. He shook his head, pulling me to him tightly.

"How the hell did you get to be so smart?" he asked quietly.

"Because I was raised by Adam McFadden," I said, looking up at him.

For the first time since he'd started the story, Adam smiled a little.

"Is that right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Will you do something for me?"

"Anything, Adam."

"Follow your own beliefs. Don't be talked into situations." He rested his chin

on the top of my head. "Try to be safe."

"I promise."

Adam kissed my forehead, and stood up, holding out his hands.

"Ready to go back to the house?"

"Yeah." I took his hands and he lifted me down.

This time it was me that reached out to hold Adam's hand, as we walked back up

the driveway. The house loomed, all lit up and welcoming, like a safe haven.

"You were trying to make me think, when you told me all this, weren't you?"

"That was my plan," Adam said.

I stopped at the front door, looking up at him. "Well, you succeeded."

"That's good."

"I think we should have John over this weekend for a BBQ, or something," I said.

Adam smiled. "I think so, too."

7777777

When I headed up to bed that night, I gave Adam an extra hard hug.

"Did you need to take your medicine?" he asked me.

"Crane, will you bring it up?" I asked Crane. "I want to ask you something."

"I'll be up soon," he said.

When I got upstairs I got ready for bed, and then sat on my bed, holding the

dolphin Guthrie had brought me.

Crane came up with my milk and medicine, and I asked him to put my dolphin up on

one of my shelves. He's so tall that he only had to reach a little bit to set it down.

"Crane?"

"What?"

"If you could have something that you really want, what would it be?"

"A Ferrari."

"I'm serious."

"What makes you think I'm not serious?"

"Crane," I said in reproval.

"I don't know, peanut. I don't need a lot. I'm a pretty basic kind of guy."

"Everybody has something they want, Crane."

"Okay. I guess some new books."

"Books?" I gave him a disbelieving look. "You're kidding."

"No, I'm not kidding. What's wrong with that?"

"Books are fine, but I mean something else. Something you would really

want, but probably wouldn't buy for yourself."

Crane looked thoughtful for a minute. "Alright, then. A computer."

"A computer, huh? To keep records on and stuff?"

"Yeah. Ranch expenses, cattle numbers, stuff like that."

"I bet that would help a lot, wouldn't it?"

"I think it would. Why all the questions?"

"I was just wondering. Are they really expensive?"

"They are. Definitely more money than this poor boy has."

"Oh."

Crane went to the door, his hand on the light switch. "Ready for the light off, or are you going to read?"

I curled up under my blankets. "Lights off. Night, Crane."

"Night, peanut."

7

After breakfast the next morning, Hannah caught me as I was about to slip outside for a few minutes.

"Come here," she said, looking serious.

"What's wrong?" I asked, walking back to her.

"Take your hair down," she said, and when I did, she ran her fingers thru it.

"When did you brush your hair last?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Umm, about a week ago," I said, and smiled at her.

"Harlie Marie."

"Well, it hurt too much to brush it, Hannah! It pulls on my back something awful."

"Then you should have asked one of the boys to brush it for you. This is a mess!"

"Sorry," I said, trying another smile.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake! Go up and get your hairbrush, and I'll see what I can do with it," she said,

and smiled back at me.

We sat for a long time on the front porch, me sitting cross-legged in front of Hannah, while she brushed

out the knots and snarls in my hair.

I didn't even mind it so much when she had to pull, it was just nice sitting there with her.

7 = love

I was writing my report on Theodore Roosevelt, sitting on the front porch swing,

when Daniel came around the house, and up the front steps.

"Hey, squirt," he said, sinking down beside me.

"Hey."

Daniel reached over and took a brownie from the plate I'd brought out to munch

on. "Good brownies," he said. "Hannah sure has the touch, doesn't she?"

"I made these," I informed him.

Daniel looked at me, and then went into his comedy routine, clutching at his

throat, and falling against me, making choking noises.

"Help," he gasped. "Poi-soned, get hel-p!"

I shoved him away. "You're funny, you should be on the Tonight Show with

Johnny Carson."

Daniel sat up straight. "Good thought. Bet he'd looove my singing."

"Well, actually I was thinking more of the animal segments he does with

that zoo lady." I told him, with a smug smile. "Maybe you could fill in for one

of the trained monkeys."

"You wound me, squirt, you really do."

I giggled.

"What are you doing tonight?" I asked him.

"It's Saturday night, I have a date, of course."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"I was going to ask you a favor."

"What?"

"I want to go into Sonoma, to the mall."

"What for?"

"I want to get Crane something."

"You have money?"

"Yeah. Some."

Daniel got to his feet, stretching. "Let's go."

"You said you had a date," I said, looking at him hopefully.

"I'll make a call. I can go later," he said, and I smiled, standing up to hug him.

"Thanks." Then I remembered. "If Brian says I can. I'm still grounded."

"Go ask him. I'll change my shirt."

I found Brian in the barn, forking loose hay into a wheelbarrow.

I told him what I wanted to do, and that Daniel was willing to take me.

"It's alright with me," Brian said.

"Thanks, Bri. And it's kind of a surprise, so please don't tell Crane, okay?"

"Hey, I know how to keep a secret."

#7

Daniel took me out for pizza when we first got to Sonoma.

I ate almost as much as he did, and Daniel started laughing when I reached

for my third piece.

"It feels good to be hungry again," I said.

"I'll bet. Your back's feeling better, too?"

I nodded around my mouthful of pizza.

Daniel laughed again and tossed a napkin at me. "Wipe your mouth, cheese face. I can't

take you anywhere."

I wiped my mouth and asked, "Who was your date with tonight?"

"Marty Foster."

"Hmmm."

"What's that look about?" he asked.

"I don't have a look. Marty's nice."

"But..."

"But I think she has marrying on her mind. I heard her and Brewster almost took

the plunge into matrimony."

"Well, I'm not her guy for that. She knows that."

"Okay," I said doubtfully, and Daniel took a drink of Coke, frowning at me.

"Now, what?"

"Marty McFadden," I said, pretending I was drawing it in the air. "It has a certain flair to it."

"Do you want to go home instead of the mall?" he threatened.

"No, Daniel."

"Then hush it."

"Okay, okay. Just trying to point out that since the wedding with Brewster was called

off at the last minute, she probably already has a wedding dress hanging in her closet."

He favored me with a dark look. "Marty and I have an understanding. She knows I'm going to

be gone one of these days, heading to Nashville-"

Daniel had spoken quickly, thoughtlessly, putting into words one of my biggest fears. Him leaving. Him not being around. And just like that, the lighthearted teasing of the last few minutes evaporated, like your breath on a cold morning.

I set my glass of Coke down, and said, quietly, "I'm ready to go when you are."

Daniel looked stricken. "Come on, squirt, don't be like that."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Maybe we should talk about it."

"I'm ready to go to the mall."

I stood up and looked at him.

Daniel sat still, and he had a stubborn look on his face that I recognized.

"Since I'm driving, I decide when we go. Sit down."

I rolled my eyes heavenward, leaning on the back of my chair.

"Harlie, SIT DOWN."

Well, there were two reasons that I sat back down in my vacated chair. One: years of being obedient to hulking older brothers isn't easily dismissed; and two: Daniel never, and I mean NEVER, calls me Harlie.

I gave an exaggerated sigh, and sat back down.

"Why don't you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

"You know, Daniel, for a smart guy like you, that's a really dumb question."

"Okay," he agreed. "I'll give you that. It was a dumb question."

"Duh."

"Can you drop that tone and we have a grownup conversation, please?"

"Alright. I know you want to go sometime. I know you have to go. I want you to be happy, Daniel.

I just don't like thinking about it."

"I'm not going anytime soon, squirt."

"But you will eventually go. And when you do, well, you won't be HERE. It will be hard not talking to you whenever I want. Not getting to hang out with you, like we are tonight."

"It'll be hard for me, too. But there is such a thing as telephones, you know."

"It's not the same thing, and you know it."

"No, it's not the same. You're right about that. But I will come home sometimes, and you can visit

me."

"I could come to Nashville?" I asked him.

"Well, Nashville, or wherever I am, sure."

"That sounds like fun," I admitted. I fiddled with the paper off my

straw. "It's just hard to think about you being so far away, Daniel."

We were quiet for a couple of minutes, and Daniel blew his straw

paper across the table at me.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Daniel paid the check, and we drove to the mall, both of us

quiet, until I spoke. "When are you thinking you'll go?"

"I don't know exactly when."

"But you have a pretty good idea of when, don't you?"

"After I get a little more money together."

"You said we'd have a grownup conversation," I reminded him. "I'm

asking you straight out, Daniel."

He looked at me, and then back at the road. "Alright," he said,

quietly. "Probably within six months or so."

I caught my breath sharply. I thought I'd been ready for his

answer, no matter what it was, but six months! I looked

out the window, blinking back tears. "Oh."

Daniel pulled into the mall parking lot, and shut off his truck.

"I'm always gonna be there for you," he said. "It may have to

be kind of a different way, but I'll always have your back, squirt. You

know that's true. Don't you?"

"Yeah, I know." I turned to look at him. "I know I sound like I'm only

thinking about myself, and how I'm going to feel. But I am proud of

you, Daniel, of your talent. Very, very proud."

"I'm proud of you, too, so I guess we're even."

"Why are you proud of me?" I asked.

"Are you serious, or just fishing for a compliment?"

"I'm not fishing. I just mean, I'm such a mess sometimes. I'm

always doing something dumb."

"Sometimes you do, but you're learning. I'm proud of you for lots of

reasons. You're smart, and you're compassionate. You care about other

people. You have a gift with animals, and you've got music in your veins

just like I do."

"Want to know something? That I haven't told anybody but Guthrie?"

"What?"

"I'm thinking about veterinary school."

Daniel whistled, looking suitably impressed. "Wow. That's fantastic. A very lofty

ambition."

"Your grade point average has to be incredible to even think about it."

"You can swing it, no problem."

"I'd have to get scholarships. It'll be expensive."

"Yeah. And I'll help you with money, as much as I can."

I smiled at him. "Thanks."

"Feeling better?"

I nodded.

"Let's do the mall crawl," he said, and we got out to walk in.

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	10. Everything comes full circle eventually

"So what are you thinking to get for Crane?" Daniel asked.

"The bookstore first," I said, and after digging around for awhile i found two books

I thought Crane would like. I went to show Daniel.

"See? North and South, and Love and War, by the same author. They're about the same

family back in the Civil War. Crane likes history. What do you think?"

"Good choice."

"Now what?" Daniel asked, as we came out of the bookstore.

"I'd like to get something else, but I don't know what for sure." We started walking again.

"Daniel, how much do computers cost?"

"It depends. Anywhere from several hundred to thousands."

"Oh," I said, disappointed.

"Why?"

"Crane wants a computer."

"Well, I've got fifty bucks I'll throw in, if you can cover the rest."

"Ha, ha. I'll never have that much money."

"You never know. You might sometime."

"Can we look at computers? Just for fun?"

Daniel shrugged. "Whatever. You're the leader on this walk."

We found a computer store, and discovered that Daniel had been right on target with

his estimation of prices.

"Wow," I said, as we started walking again.

"He'll love the books," Daniel said.

"I know. I just-well I wanted to get him something special."

I gave Daniel a sideways look. "I could probably think better if I had an ice cream cone."

"You really do have your appetite back, don't you?" he said.

I finished off my cone in record time, and as we were passing an office supply store I

had an idea.

I went in and found what I was looking for, an extremely heavy wooden desk set to hold

pens and pencils. When the salesman came over to talk to me, I told him I was thinking

about buying it.

"It's for my brother, to keep on his desk," I said.

"We can attach an engraved plate on it, if you'd like."

"That would be great!" I said, excited. I asked about the cost and I was

fifteen dollars short. I sighed, disappointed.

"I'll float you a loan," Daniel said.

I shot him a grateful look, and watched while they engraved Crane's name on a brass

rectangle and attached it to the wood. They offered to wrap it for no extra charge.

"That all?" Daniel asked, as we walked out of the store.

"I guess so, since I'm out of money." I giggled. "And now I owe a loan shark fifteen dollars."

"Yeah, and I've heard he's a real mean dude. You better pay up quick."

"Seriously, what can I do to pay you back?"

"Don't worry about it."

"No, Daniel, I want to do this myself. If I don't pay you back, it wouldn't be right."

"You're really growing up, you know that?" he said, smiling at me.

"So, what can I do?"

"You can wash my truck to start with. I'll think of something else later."

"Okay. I'll do it tomorrow."

When we pulled into the driveway, it was starting to get dusk.

"Are you going out on your date now?" I asked him.

"Yeah."

I hopped out and went around to the driver's side window. "Thanks for taking me. And for

the pizza, and everything."

"You're welcome. I'll see you later."

When I went inside, Adam and Hannah were on the couch, and Adam was laying with

his head in her lap.

"Hello, sweetie," Hannah said.

"Hi."

"Did you eat?"

"Yeah. Daniel took me for pizza." I looked around the quiet living room. "Where is

everybody?"

"They all deserted us for the bright lights of town."

"Crane, too?"

"He said he'd be home early."

"Ok."

"Sit down here with us for awhile," Hannah invited.

I curled up in the recliner opposite them, after leaning over to grab a handful

of Adam's popcorn from the bowl that was resting on his stomach.

"Yes, certainly you may have some of my popcorn," Adam said drily. "I'm happy

to share, especially since you asked so nicely."

I giggled. "Sorry. May I have some of your popcorn, PLEASE?"

"I'll take it under consideration."

"So what's in your package?" Hannah asked, pointing.

"A present for Crane."

"That's nice, sweetie," Hannah said, in a pleased voice.

"Well, he did so much for me lately, taking care of me and all. I gave him

a pretty hard time. I just wanted to do something for him."

"That's good," she said. "It'll mean a lot to him."

Adam didn't say anything, but he smiled at me, and I knew he approved, too.

We talked some more, and then they started watching the news. I was getting

tired, and the news didn't interest me much, so I decided to head upstairs.

"Will you tell Crane to come to my room when he gets home?"

"Sure," Hannah said.

I leaned over to hug Hannah. "Night," I said.

"Goodnight, sweetie."

I blew a kiss at Adam, and then quickly snatched another handful of popcorn,

making a quick beeline to the stairs.

"You better run!" he threatened.

"Goodnight, Adam, I love you!" I said, in a singsong voice, leaning over the bannister.

"Yeah, yeah. You're lucky I'm too tired to get up."

I laughed, and went upstairs, putting Crane's present on my bed. I wrote inside the

cover of both books, and shoved them back into the sack. I took a shower, and came out,

bundling my wet hair up on top of my head.

I was sitting on my bed reading when Crane showed up, leaning against my open

doorway. "Hey."

"Hi. What did you do tonight?"

"Just went to town with Brian for awhile. How about you?"

"I went with Daniel to eat pizza."

"Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah. Kind of. Come here," I motioned him over to the bed.

"Sit down," I ordered.

"Yes, ma'm," he said, and sat down.

"Close your eyes."

"Why do I have to close my eyes?" he asked, smiling.

"Please, Crane."

"Okay, okay," he said, and closed his eyes.

I pulled the sack with the books out from behind me and laid it in his lap.

"Okay," I said, and Crane looked at it. "What's this?"

"Open it, and see."

Crane took the books out, and looked them over. "This is great," he exclaimed.

"I thought since it's history you'd like them."

"Definitely, I do. I've been wanting to get to the library to borrow 'North and South'."

"Now you can read it, and not have to worry about returning it."

"That's right," he said, opening the cover and reading,

'Crane, happy reading,

Love, Harlie, 1986'

Crane smiled at me. "This is sweet of you, peanut. Thank you."

I pulled the wrapped package from behind me and handed it to him.

"Another present?" he said, looking at me questioningly. "It's not my birthday, is it?"

" It's a 'just because' present. You took such good care of me all week, and put

up with me. I wanted to do something for you."

"You don't have to give me a present for that, Harlie," he said, looking serious.

"I know. I wanted to."

Crane was still looking at me, and I pushed his arm. "Open it, silly," I said.

"This one's heavy," he said, and tore the paper off.

When he opened it, he sat for a minute, not saying anything, and he ran his

fingers over his engraved name, 'Crane Michael McFadden'.

"It's beautiful," he said. "Incredible."

"Do you like it?"

"No." He looked at me. "I love it."

I smiled at him. "A computer was out of my price range."

"I'd rather have this than a computer," he said, with certainty. He leaned over

and gave me a one armed hard hug. "You are one terrific kid, you know that?"

I shrugged. "I wanted to give you something special, that would show you how much

I appreciate you. That I think you're a great big brother. And, how much I love you."

Crane didn't say anything for a minute. He sighed. "You're gonna make

me bust out crying here in a minute."

"I won't tell anybody if you do."

Crane kissed the top of my head, and then pulled back, putting a hand on one

side of my face. "I love it, darlin'. And every time I look at it, I'll think of you, and how

special you are to me. And I count it as a privilege of my life to be your big

brother."

I smiled, and Crane smiled, and I said, "Good thing nobody else is up here to hear us

talking like this. They'd make fun of us."

"Yeah," he agreed. "It's getting pretty sugary in here, alright."

All of a sudden I remembered something. Crane noticed my change of

demeanor because he said, "What's wrong?"

"My report. On Theodore Roosevelt."

"What about it?"

"It's downstairs."

"Okay. I'll look at it."

"I was working on it when I went with Daniel. It's not done."

"How much does it lack?"

"I think I was at about 2500 words."

"Hmm. So about 500 more to go, huh?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "Guess I better get busy."

"We'll let it go tonight," he said, and I looked at him in surprise.

"You mean it?"

"Tonight only, okay?"

"Thanks."

"Get under the covers," he told me, and when I had, he pulled the blankets up

around me. "And, just for the record, it's not because you just gave me the best present

ever. Has nothing to do with it."

I giggled. "Okay."

At the doorway, Crane snapped off the light, and turned back when I said,

"Crane?"

"What?"

"You're going to be a great dad someday."

"Why? Because I let you off your punishment?"

"No. Because you're fair. And you're kind. And because you really care. Your kids

will be lucky."

"Thank you. Now, go to sleep, so I can go down and put this gorgeous gift

in a prominent place on the desk."

I smiled in the darkness. "Make sure it's the MOST prominent."

"Oh, I will," he joked back. "Night, peanut."

"Good night."

7

I laid there for awhile, thinking, and listening as everybody got ready for bed.

.

I could hear Brian's deep voice, and Ford's laugh, and Guthrie and Evan coming up the stairs, talking. I called out goodnight to them, and Evan answered, "Night, Har."

Guthrie stuck his head in. "Hey, hyena."

"Hey, elephant ears."

"After church tomorrow, you want to go with me and Evan?"

"Where to?"

"Up to the Castles. Evan's looking at one of their horses."

"Sure."

"Okay. See you in the morning."

"Okay. Sleep good, Guth."

"You too."

I heard Brian go past later, and I heard him swearing softly when he stubbed his foot.

I knew Ford had let Gus in to sleep inside, because I could tell by the click click

of Gus's toenails on the wooden floors, and Ford telling him to be quiet.

Finally, I heard Adam and Hannah coming up the stairs and down the hall,

talking softly. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the sound of their

murmured voices made me feel secure.

I said a quick prayer before I went to sleep, thanking God for all of them, for keeping me from

serious harm in the accident, and I added a request for God to be with the family of

Mitch Clark, who'd felt such despair that he'd taken his own life.

I whispered Amen, and let myself settle in for the night, along with the house

and the people in it.

7

This concludes this particular adventure of Harlie McFadden. Thanks to everybody

who has reviewed and followed this story. Harlie has more adventures and more growing

up to do, so be ready!


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